WhY?

Last night I got the message that someone a community had been praying for had suddenly passed away. He was the son of someone my mom works with at school in Mendota. Just over a week-and-a-half ago, Andrew was a normal, healthy 20year-old college student who had just finished finals. He had been home a few days and developed a migraine, which he had never had before. A short hospital visit was followed by violent seizures at home and resulted in him being flown to Peoria. He slipped into a coma and would only open his eyes while having a seizure. They thought he was stabilizing and then suddenly, he let go. The doctors were and are still baffled as to the cause of the illness. No one knows why. WhY?

Last night I was informed that a friend from church and softball had been up in Michigan to visit family for Christmas. His wife’s deranged ex-husband came to the house they were staying at Saturday night, with multiple firearms. He intended to confront the boyfriend of his former wife. When the home owner went outside to meet the man, he was shot in the chest on the front lawn. Our friend, Darren, tried to barricade the front door. The gunman (his former uncle), apparently fired through the door, hitting Darren twice in the femur. Once inside, the gunman allowed the women and children to leave, as well as Darren and his father, so he was rushed to the hospital. Doctors said that most people who sustain an injury of this nature to the femoral artery bleed to death, but Darren made it. The gunman then shot and killed the boyfriend of his ex-wife before killing himself when police arrived. Darren has had four surgeries so far. He is still in intensive care, on dialysis. It is unclear whether he will keep his leg. He lives and breathes sports and is an amazing multi-sport athlete. How do you cope with a tragic injury like this, not to mention the violent and senseless loss of those close to you torn away? Why do these things happen? WhY?

http://www.mlive.com/news/jacitpat/index.ssf?/base/news-19/1167064562302070.xml&coll=3

I started reading David Crowder’s new book, “Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but Nobody wants to Die,” last night. It just happened to be on top of the stack of books I intend to read next. It deals primarily with death, the resulting sadness it brings, the existence of the soul, etc. The first story David shared was of his friend Kyle Lake, who was electrocuted last October while baptizing a friend on Sunday morning in front of the congregation, including his wife and children in Waco, TX. Why would God allow this to happen? What message does this give to unbelievers…to believers? WhY?

Today I'm Thankful...

that Christmas songs are no longer on the radio.

Seriously, they're great for Christmas eve and Christmas day, but when you start playing them on the day after Thanksgiving and play nothing BUT Christmas songs until the 25th, you are crazy and annoying.

So thank you today, for playing ANYTHING but Christmas carols.

Changes

The way I see it, there are only two constants in this world-God and gravity. We lowly humans have managed to overcome the latter, but there’s no stopping God.

Last night at small group, Chris discussed the upcoming changes for Nexus and our weekly “small group” gathering. I think we are naturally resistant to change, as it comes with a touch of apprehension, stepping out of the comfort of familiarity, and a possibility of failure. But change is sometimes necessary. We could keep doing what we are doing, stay mediocre. Or we could step out in faith and hope and make a difference.

So over the next month, Nexus will transform from a weekly service at the church, to one monthly service and weekly gatherings of “house groups” to build what the church should really be-a community. Charlie will launch each series on the second Saturday of the month and the other three weeks will be spent focusing on the curriculum he writes for the house groups. Each group will meet at a church member’s home on designated night to better accommodate the busy schedules of college students. This means that our small group is no longer going to be small, but will open the doors to anyone who wants to attend.

I believe this could be awesome. Either it will be a catalyst for young adult ministry in our community, or it will fail. Regardless, we tried to spur growth and development. Onward Christian soldiers!

Christmas Card (cause i'm cheap)

The Year in Pictures

Ok, so it's not exactly a whole year, but I'm bored and at work and this is what I could come up with.

Texas Wild Boar Hunting in March. 13 pigs in one afternoon.
Packing more firepower than the PLO. The Yellow House, purchased in September. I need to post the before-and-after pics. Amazing.
The Georgia Aquarium in October for the Catalyst Conference.
Me and Bri at the Converge Conference in Peoria. Ain't she adorable?

small THINGS.

Why is it that the little annoyances in life all seem to come at you at once, usually during a fair-to-good day?

Example: Yesterday was a normal day at work (plus all the cookies, candies, nuts, etc. that come in to the department in a constant stream from the mail room). Not too busy, not too many "crazies" on the phone.

I was to meet with my high school small group at Starbucks at 7pm by the gym. I'd have plenty of time to go work out, shower, grab a protein shake or some food before the meeting.

And so it began.
The gym is 5.99 miles from work (thank you, mapquest). Normally it takes 15 minutes to get there at 4:30. Yesterday it took 52. No construction, no accidents, no explanation. Traffic was at a standstill for no apparent reason. Frustration is not the proper word.

So I'm already way behind. I got through just over half of my workout before I had to hit the showers. After getting dressed, I couldn't find my wallet. Not in my pocket, not in my coat, not in my car. I didn't panic because I’ve left it on my desk at work before. But now I had no method of purchasing nourishment.

On to Starbucks to meet with the guys. We normally meet at Northwoods, but there was no service due to the upcoming Christmas program. One guy out of four showed up. We hung out anyway and some other kids from Dunlap happened stop in. Oh, well.

This morning, Cougar meowed at me approximately 63 times while I was getting dressed because he was hungry. I fed him. He didn't like the food and didn't eat.

Today is casual day. They didn't make an announcement or send an email. Apparently no one told me.

All simple things. Life is funny. As soon as life isn't looking, I'm going to kick it in the...

Truth.

On Sunday, Eric concluded the series on truth at Reality (the high school ministry). It amazes me that people can have such varied definitions of what “truth” is.
Can simply believing in something make it true? Can the truth change with time? Can two people have conflicting definitions of what is true and both be correct? Is there an ultimate truth? Where does it come from?

True=that which is real.

Simply believing in something does not make it real (i.e. Sorry kiddies, but just because you believe a 250 pound elderly bearded man is going to squeeze down your chimney this weekend, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen).

There is only one truth; however people perceive and interpret it relative to their language, culture, etc. Therefore, disagreements about what is true from one person to the next can occur. Whose angle on the truth is correct?

What we perceive as the truth shapes our beliefs, values, and ultimately, our actions. I think that is why our generation seeks reality so much. We want what is real to be revealed.

Any religious person should testify that the ultimate truth comes from God and Christians know that it was and is constantly revealed by His son.

You don’t have to simply believe in it, you can sense it, see it in others, live it out. In a world shaped and steered by what a few influential individuals believe or mold evidence for (think philosophers, evolutionists, dictators, etc), we need constant reminders that the ultimate truth trumps all.

GCIC Christmas Party.

Friday night was the company Christmas Party at the Par-a-dice Hotel in East Peoria. The food was great, but the highlight of my evening was the following:


Picture this lady. She is the DJ's wife.

Now picture her lip-synching, "Don't you wish your girlfriend was HOT like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a FREAK like me?"

No further explanation necessary.

P.S. This actually happened.

KEEP PRAYING...

for Randy!
http://fogparty.blogs.com/fogparty/

I got a card from the department this morning and my boss wrote "Happy Birthday Dwight" in it.

bonus: We get out at 3pm today for our 7pm Christmas party. I am not going to question it.

I just hope we all get bathrobes as a gift. That would be MUCH better than cash.

Movie Review

I watched an intriguing movie last night: “Devil’s Playground.” It focuses on that critical period of life between 16-20 something, when children leave the protection and watchful eye of the family and explore the world in shocking ways. Sounds like typical America right? However, this film has a twist…the fledglings are all Amish.
The featured community is located in rural Indiana, and is inundated with the typical horse-and-buggies, one-room school houses, horse-drawn plows, plain clothing, etc. Much is revealed about the beliefs, family structure, and social network of our Anabaptist neighbors.
When teenagers in the Amish community turn 16, they are expected to venture out into the “english” world for a period called “rumspringa.” They are free to buy and drive vehicles, get jobs, consume alcohol and drugs, date, dress “english,” listen to music, watch TV, etc. Rumspringa parties would put any college town party to shame! They often draw thousands of Amish kids in from across the country.
This completely undermines the Amish’s main focus: to remain removed from the world in order to stay closer to God. The family comes second, only to God. They believe that relying on modern conveniences (like electricity or machinery) would take the focus away from family cooperation. However, since following Christ is a decision that only an adult can make, they put it in the hands of these kids. Come back to the church and leave the world behind, or be lost.
While there is a lot of pressure on the teens to join the Amish church, get baptized and settle down, 10% choose to not return to the Amish lifestyle. Those that do not return home may still have limited contact with their families, while those that join the church, but then decide to leave are banned forever. This film was certainly eye-opening, and I recommend it if you can tolerate some harsh language.

life is like...

It's that time of year when attorneys bombard their clients with boxes, baskets, and buckets of chocolates, candies, and cakes.

There is a table about 11.7 feet from my desk where the secretaries lay all the day's bounty out. Every time I get up to grab something from the printer, I can't help but graze on the cornicopia of carb-laden delights.
Which gets me thinking: who is the mad candy-maker-guy who sits in his sugar lair thinking, "what crazy thing can I put in the middle of this chocolate mass?"

Seriously, I've had 4 or 5 pieces of chocolate from a mixed box of whatevers this morning, and I have no idea what was in the middle. It could have been dog treats and ear wax for all I know.

It was delicious.

sometimes life kicks you in the gut, steals your last breath, and leaves you standing in shock-the choas of the world drowned out by the words you dread to hear...

please read the post "the email" on Randy's blog.

Pray for God to place his hands on him.
To heal him completely.
This world needs him.
He helped save me.

A typical day in the life of JRG.

Finances have been really tight since moving into the new house (empty room=empty pockets), so I was excited and hopeful for the prospect of a new roommate. Kyle, Jess, and I had joked around Wednesday night about what I would do if the new guy was really weird or old. I assured them he seemed “cool” from our emailing back and forth (whatever that means).

The prospect was to meet me at the house at 5pm yesterday, which required me to cancel my gym appointment. If you know me, this is a BIG deal. As of 5:40, he still didn’t show. I was a wee bit miffed, but was still confident he’d show up.

He called a few minutes later to say he dropped the transmission in his car and had to go pick up a rental, but would be there shortly. Eureka!

The doorbell rings. I answer.

The gentleman on the doorstep was not exactly what I had pictured as the person at the other end of our email conversation. I’d say he was closer to 50 than 40 years old. He was very nice and polite and we had a wonderful conversation about cats and engineering software. But I don’t think it would have made for a comfortable housing situation, with my younger sister living upstairs.

I had to inform him of our collective decision this morning.
Back to the drawing board!

ok, seriously, enough is enough.

there are 12 claims in my inbox.

i just got an email that we are now going to insure 600 Little Ceasar's across the country.

they hired one new adjuster-who probably won't start handling any claims for 2-3 weeks.

the senior adjusters are even complaining there are too many claims and too few adjusters.

i'm loosing it.

why do i have to pay for some stupid kid who hurt himself skateboarding on church property?

why must i tolerate being yelled at for 20 minutes by some guy who spilled tea into his truck cd player?

why does every other meal served at mcdonald's contain a hard object that breaks someone's last remaining tooth?

why are people such terrible drivers?

why am i working here?

What is it about the weather?

Totally random thought as a precursor to coffee:

Have you ever wondered how or why the weather affects our moods? Why is it that when it's hot and muggy, the crime rate increases? Why do cloudy or rainy days make us depressed? Warm spring days make us happy and crisp autumn air refreshes us. I don't have an answer, but I wonder if there is something embedded in our psyche that sets the tone of our day simply by looking out the window in the morning.

What if we lived in a world with artificial environments? If the concrete jungles gave way to our entire civilization living in a bubble. It could happen-I heard on the news just yesterday that NASA wants to establish the first base camp on the moon. How then would the overall mood of society be affected by constant temperature, humidity, weather, etc.?

Today.

I received 6 new claims this morning before 10:30am. 7 is the record for the most received in a day. We'll see if it's broken this afternoon. argh.

On a lighter and brighter note, after not receiving a single response to my classified adds on myspace and facebook about my available room (and being unable to stretch my meager earnings to pay the monthly bills and mortgage), I posted it on www.craigslist.com yesterday morning. I had 4 inquiries this morning and am meeting a potential renter tomorrow after work! I was more than a little hesitant to opening my home to the public, but this guy's a project engineer downtown, so I think it's safe.

i hope he likes cougars.

T4-your claim has been TERMINATED!

My old roomie sent this to me this morning. AWESOME!

2nd season.

It’s back to reality after a long weekend (4 cold, snowy days) of deer hunting. I shot some more great video for this year’s DVD. Thursday I sat in the “War Wagon” with my dad and uncle all day because it was too frigid to sit in a tree for more than an hour. Pictures of this heated, tactical monstrosity are soon to follow. My uncle Dave missed two bucks that afternoon, both of which are on video.

Friday we were snowed in, along with the rest of the state of Illinois. We managed to crawl out of camp around 2:30pm and wallow through the 18” of snow to our stands. All I saw was a coyote.

Saturday the deer were sitting tight after the blizzard. There were lots of tracks crossing the open fields-evidence of their nighttime travels and feeding. We sat in the wagon again all day and only saw one deer, a nice 8-point.

Sunday morning broke the monotony. I had only been in the tree about 45 minutes-an hour (which is a long time when it’s 4 degrees out), when I spotted 4 deer working their way toward me through the forest. It turned out to be a group of does. I had two tags, so I decided to take one or two. I fired at the first animal, but it didn’t react in a manner to suggest it had just been shot at. All four of them just stood there. After a quick decision, I fired at the second deer, which ran a few steps and then started walking slowly again. I fired a third shot, which brought her down.

About 30 minutes later, my uncle shot a doe. My dad got one 45 minutes after that. And finally, another kid that hunts with us shot a doe later in the morning. So in all four frigid days of second season, all the action occurred in approximately 3 hours. The freezers are full, so I am happy!

(I’ll post some pictures soon)

Methodists (Adapted from an essay by Garrison Keillor)

We make fun of Methodists for their blandness, their excessive

calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese.

But nobody sings like them.

If you were to ask an audience in New York City , a relatively Methodistless place, to sing along on the chorus of "Michael Row the Boat Ashore," they will look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. But if you do this among Methodists, they'd smile and row that boat ashore...and up on the beach...and down the road!

Many Methodists are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony, a talent that comes
from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person's rib cage. It's natural for Methodists to sing in harmony. We are too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling moment. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.

I do believe this: People, these Methodists, who love to sing in four-part harmony are the sort of people you could call up when you're in deep distress. If you are dying, they will comfort you. If you are lonely, they'll talk to you. And if you are hungry, they'll give you tuna salad!

Methodists believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.

Methodists like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.

Methodists believe their pastors will visit them in thehospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.

Methodists usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins.

Methodists believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.

Methodists feel that applauding for their children's choirs would make the kids too proud and conceited.

Methodists think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.

Methodists drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.

Methodists feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.

Methodists are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.

Methodists still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and think that peas in a tuna noodle casserole adds too much color.

Methodists believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.

You know you are a Methodist when: It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service.

You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can.

Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee.

When you watch a Star Wars movie and they say, "May the Force be with you," and you respond, "and also with you."

And lastly, it takes ten minutes to say good-bye!

History Repeats Itself.

I just got an email from the girl who followed in my small footsteps at Bradley. She came to Bradley for grad school and studied under the same professor for her master’s degree in biology. And she did a similar hormone study, but on wolves instead of deer.

She emailed me because she did not pass her first attempt at the oral exam, which must be completed before graduation. It is an accumulation of all knowledge a biology student should have acquired through undergrad and grad studies. It’s basically a panel of 3 professors grilling you on anything and everything biology for 4 hours. I, fortunately, got through the ordeal only struggling with 3 or 4 questions. The last question was a stumbling block for me and apparently for her as well.

The question is: how would you respond to someone who believes in creation and not evolution?

I distinctly remember the moment they asked me this. How could they? What bearing did this have on a master’s degree for studying deer poop?

I responded that “current scientific evidence can support the theory of evolution,” as I believe in intelligent design. This concept is that an intelligent being (God) created life and had a hand in it’s development along the way. Microevolution does occur through natural selection, but fish don’t become giraffes, no matter how many millions of years are in between. If humans evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?

Apparently, that is the wrong answer.

My professor, who I had looked up to and respected for 6 years, said that you can NOT “believe” in science. You either “agree or disagree.” “Creation is based only on belief in something that cannot be proved.”

This idea turned my world upside down. But it has only fueled my desire to learn more. And what I have discovered is that it takes much more FAITH to BELIEVE in the claims and theories of evolution, which have holes in them big enough for a galaxy to pass through, than to accept what biological, geological, and archeological science has revealed that lends support to what is written in the bible. The “scientific” community constantly accuses those that believe in creation as being closed-minded. And they are the ones that are unwilling to look at the evidence on the table! It is for this reason that I have lost “faith” in their “science.” How sad that those designated to educate others would have them sacrifice science-based beliefs to support their blind-eyed, hypothetical theories.

The Injury

My boss and I have a sarcastic Michael-Dwight relationship. If you haven’t seen “The Office,” you have not tasted true jubilation. Michael is the moronic, self-absorbed Regional Manager with no tact, but is a self-proclaimed comic and improv actor. Dwight is the Assistant “to the” Regional Manager who would do anything to impress Michael. He’s overdramatic and over-the-top ALL the time. While my boss is not Michael-esque at all, there have been a few situations here that have been so similar, it’s scary.

For instance, there was time that he called me into the conference room, closed the door and asked me to have a seat. He then said, “Radio Shack fires people over email, but I have the dignity to do it in person.” He was kidding. He told me I was “awesome.”

Whenever I make a helpful suggestion that would increase efficiency in our claims-handling process, he responds, “Thanks, Dwight,” and kiddingly dismisses it. Michael does this all the time because it wasn’t his idea.

Yesterday took the cake though. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed he had parked right next to the front door in the handicapped spot. In the next moment I saw him hobbling to the door on crutches. First thought: He cooked his foot in a Foreman Grill while making attempting to “wake up to the smell of crackling bacon.” I seriously laughed out loud in my car.
However, ‘twas not so. When I saw his foot was in a cast and not bubble wrap and packaging tape, I figured it was more serious. It turns out he fell off a ladder and broke one foot and bruised the other one. He was pretty grumpy about it so I waited until this afternoon to tell him what I assumed had happened. I asked him if he’d like some chocolate pudding.

I’m just glad he didn’t fall between the toilet and the bathroom wall and yell for help.

Thanksgiving Penguin.

I was staring at my wall today wondering why it was that the turkey has become a national target for one day of the year. I'm sure we were all taught in grade school that the Wampanoag Indians and the Pilgrims shared a feast and turkey was the main course. I wonder if Indians fried turkeys? Any way, I decided to delve into this poultry-persecuting holiday to unearth the truth.

The first Thanksgiving was celebrated in 1621 to commemorate the Pilgrim's harvest after a harsh winter. It turns out that a letter written by pilgrim, Edward Winslow, notes that the Governor William Bradford sent out 4 men out to gather food for a feast. They came back with "fowl" (presumably ducks, geese, and turkeys, which were common in the area). There is no written history of turkeys actually being served at the first Thanksgiving- it is just speculation.

So what if they actually ate something different. What if they had crow, sparrow, or woodpecker? Maybe peacock, blue jay, and owl? My point is (if I have one) that if 265 million turkeys are meeting their maker in the name of Thanksgiving each year, shouldn't we be sure it isn't the pigeon we're after?! I'm just saying the streets would be a cleaner place.

no catchy title today.

I saw this on post secret and thought it was funny.

First Season.

It was an exciting weekend!
I shot 30-40 deer.

with my camera.

0 with a gun.

I did see one monster buck, but I didn't have a shot at him. Maybe next season...9 days away.

The video from this year is going to be sweet. I got some great footage!

21 hours and counting...

At this time tomorrow I will be sitting in a tree (I guess it's better than hanging from one).

Deer Season '06, here I come!

I've now been at work 16 minutes. I'll try to hold out another 44 before leaving, "sick." I have a ton of stuff to do at the house before I pack up and head to camp this afternoon.

If possible, I'll update over the weekend. Catch ya on the flip side!

True.

I got the following in an email this morning. The highlighted points are all too sadly, my reality.

YOU MIGHT BE IN THE INSURANCE INDUSTRY IF.....
1. You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for 3 different managers.
2. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
3. When someone asks you what you do for a living, you lie.
4. You get really excited about a 2% pay increase.
5. Your biggest loss from a systems crash is that you lose your best jokes.
6. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
7. It's dark on your drive to and from work.
8. Fun is when "claims" are assigned to someone else.
9. Communication is something your "group" is having problems with.
10. You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.
11. Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
12. Art involves a white board.
13. All real work is done prior to 9:00 am and after 5:00 PM
14. You're already late on the assignment you just received.
15. Dilbert is your favorite cartoon.
16. Your boss's favorite lines are...."When you get a few minutes""In your spare time""I have an opportunity for you"
17. Less than 10% of the people in your company know what you do.
18. Vacation is something you roll-over to next year or a check you get every January.
19. Change is the norm.
20. You read this entire list and understand it.

And I'd like to add:
20. Approximately 90% of your phone conversations involve the words "vomit, diarrhea, pay me, and/or lawyer."
21. Everywhere you go, all you see is potential safety hazards.
22. People send you partially chewed or digested items found in their 99cent sandwiches on a daily basis.

Deer Camp

4 days. It begins.

The anticipation is building.

Friday is the opening day of shotgun deer season in Illinois. For seven days of the year, hunters in our state pour into the woods in hopes of bagging a big, corn-fed Whitetail. It is something I eagerly look forward to, not because I enjoy killing animals, but because of the relationships that surround the event and for the time spent away from the rest of the world. When you are hunting, you are miles away from reality. It's just you, the trees, the wind, the wildlife, and God. I love it.

Traditionally, the hunters in our party gather at "Deer Camp" the Thursday night before opening day for a feast. It is held in a 30x60' shop with a heated concrete floor, full kitchen, bathroom, and loft. It even has a hot tub to relax in after a long day in the cold. My dad and Bernie (the owner of the shop) invite a bunch of their customers and other hunters over to dine on a variety of wild game dishes. I usually have a showing of the previous years Wild Boar and Deer Hunting DVD's I film and produce.

Then it's off to bed (if sleep is possible). We roll out of bed around 4:30-5am every day, inhale breakfast, pile on layers of insulation, and head out to the stands before daylight.

I can already feel the crisp air in my lungs, see the forest come alive as daylight creeps through the branches, hear hooves gently plodding through fallen leaves, smell the gunpowder...

4 more days...

highlights-not in my hair.

Some highlights from the past few days of my exciting life:

A lady filed a claim for being stung by a bee (apparently we're supposed to be able to control them).

I fell down the last few stairs at my house. Shaggy carpet is slippery.

I learned that Cougar becomes a ravenous, growling beast if you give him a porkchop and then try to take it away to cut it into smaller pieces so he can actually swallow it. Apparently he thinks he's an anaconda.

I am now doing the work of two claims examiners, as we are 4 people short this week.

I ate breakfast sausage for supper. Delicious.

Blockbuster Total Access has drastically changed my life.

I paid a man $40 for ripping his pants on a bench.

I spend more time looking for a new job while at work than actually working at my job. And no one notices.

I have nearly cleaned out all the random food items from my cupboards and freezer since I've been broke since last friday. Necessity is the mother of all invention-and strange meal combinations (see previous sausage example).

I wore a bathrobe to work.

Actually, I did not wear a bathrobe to work. But it would be fun.

My Matrix.

There is a concept my mind has been chewing on. I have become aware that I am a part of several communities that I interact with on a daily basis, but which I am totally disconnected with. These “Matrix Communities,” as I call them, occur where people are gathered in close proximity, but not necessarily in social settings. Maybe it’s a coffee shop… a doctor’s waiting room…a bus for the morning commute. They are everywhere.

Think about it. How many distinct groups of people are you around every day? Groups of individuals that you recognize, yet know nothing about? Maybe you have already assumed personalities or life stories for these people. You may know everything about them-in your mind. But it’s all an illusion. This is the Matrix.

For example, I workout at a particular gym at a particular time of the day, several days a week. So do approximately 100-200 other people. These are the people in my Matrix. I don’t know them. But when members of my community are absent, I notice. When there are new people, I notice. There is a subconscious connection with these strangers. I enjoy being in their company. Why?

I think it has to do with another “Matrix” concept: ignorance is bliss. When we bounce from one community to the next, we only see the surface of each member’s life. We come to our own conclusions about what is underneath. And in my communities, everyone is happy-their lives are free from pain and worry. I have decided this for them. My Matrix is comforting and I can share in their illusion.

It’s easy to go through life this way-not caring to go deeper than the surface. Not marring the complexion of our Matrix communities by crossing over the line into the reality of each member’s life.

With reality comes pain, but through pain you find love. Break the Matrix.

More to come…

Sugarfeast.

I had a GREAT and bountiful Halloween! What I don't understand is why all the children who rang my doorbell went away upset (some even in tears).

Halloween is a holiday of generosity, correct? You are to give freely of what you have to bring joy to others and yourself. I thought I had this nailed down. Apparently, I was wrong.

Here's the scenario:

Doorbell rings.

I answer it as I normally would when a Girlscout, Amway Lady, or other salesperson visits.

However, on this night of the year, the visitors greated me with arms outstretched and bags or buckets overflowing with sweet delights. I was overcome with the spirit of the holiday and reacted in the only way that is natural:

I scooped handfulls of candy out of their stockpiles and into my bowl and shut the door.

Happy Halloween!

just kidding.

on a not-so-fun note: more house stress.

So Jordan is moving out on Friday, which leaves me with 2 roommates (Kyle and Zach). I was hoping to land a new job so I wouldn't have to add another roommate to make the mortgage payments. But 2 is doable.

Then Zack informs me last night that he has to move out in 2 weeks.

Which leaves me with 1 roommate. Which makes it impossible to pay the mortgage.

Freak out time?

Bri (the ultimate worrier) is not worried. This is very strange, but may be a sign from the divine.

Is HE clearing out my house the way I wanted in preparation for a career advancement?

Or am I royally screwed?

Yeah God

Rejuvenating, refreshing, resolving. A retreat from the whirlwind of life is what I needed. Thank you. I had an amazing time at Great Oaks this weekend. Between the high ropes course, fishing, flag football, worship, teaching, and reflection, the Holy Spirit inundated our cabins and spoke through the voice of falling leaves. What a beautiful weekend to be in His kingdom!

Brandon (http://brownsquirrel.blogspot.com/) spoke about being in the presence, but missing the Spirit. How easily it is done. There are so many distractions we fill our lives with-cell phones, iPods, the internet, movies, TV, planes, trains, and automobiles, serving in 20 different aspects of ministry, etc. We are so concerned with the details (Martha) that we totally miss the one thing that matters (Mary). If only we could slow down, tear down the idols that consume us and focus on Him. What a difference it would make. Fill your mind with the Word, which brings you closer to God and satisfies. Filling your mind with media only leaves you wanting more.

Last night was the Converge conference at the civic center. It was so encouraging to see young people bring friends on their arms to hear about God, some for the first time. The music from The Afters, Pillar, and worship leaders from local churches was powerful. Jeff Schwarzentraub gave the message: everyone was intentionally brought into this world and into the civic center that night. They are loved. And they can be certain of where they will spend eternity if they just accept Jesus and give Him their lives. He then invited those who wanted to know Him to the front of the stage. At first, no one arose. Then a couple, then a few more, then dozens, then hundreds of people made their way through the crowd. Adults and kids began counseling and praying for those newborn in the Spirit. No doubt, the masses left that place with a new sense of hope, direction, and belonging. How great is the Lord!

Hazed and Confused.

For the past two weeks or so it’s been hard to get out of bed in the morning. I don’t think it’s the weather, I’ve just used that as an excuse to try and convince myself that everything else is ok. It’s not the pressure of getting things done around the house because all that’s left now is odds and ends and the problem of not having any roommates to help pay the mortgage has been more than covered. God provided several more offers as roommates in the past week or so than I can accommodate! I’m serving more than ever at church in Nexus, Reality, drama and music. Relationships with friends and family are strong.

Why do I still feel so drained? Empty?

Is it just a season of the heart? So that when I move into the next season, I taste how good it truly is?

I can’t help but blame this job I’m in. It was a blessing at first. It was more money that helped me buy a great house. But it gets harder and harder to come in to work each day. I dread answering the phone, wondering who will be yelling at me next. Demanding money they have no right to. I want to feed every new claim that the secretaries put in my “inbox” into the “outbox” (which ideally is a paper shredder). I leave the office in a sullen, somber, and sometimes angry mood, unless it’s Friday.

All I look forward to is small group Wednesday night with the kids, Thursday with my friends and nexus/reality on the weekends. But it’s so hard to get through the weekdays that seem to never end. Am I wasting my life here?

I’ve applied for a new job with the potential to make 2 or 3 times what I make now. And it sounds like something I’d enjoy and I could take an active leadership role there. But will the phone call ever come? Is that just going to lead to another dead end?

So lost in the haze.

I need a new light.
Jesus, grant me patience. Let your will be done.

i swear i didn't do it.

maybe i did.

Post Secrets

I have not yet lost hope. I hope my patience does not wear out...

Joking, of course....somewhat.

Um, yeah.

I think we've failed our children.

No comment necessary.

Random thought o' the day.

Does anybody else miss these?

I miss them more than Michael Bay missed the boat when he made Pearl Harbor.

Stupidest Idea Ever.

Apparently, people in Nevada are also stupid. Why would anyone put $180,000 into a 1982 Italian clunker? Good luck moving this piece, buddy.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=170037422944&fromMakeTrack=true

Serious question.

If someone offered you a free zoo animal, what would you get and why?

It sure is monday.

After an amazing week at Catalyst, I returned to the office this morning.

Highlights: 60 emails, 14 voice mails, discovering the McDonald's policies (over 2,000) have not been renewed by the underwriting dept. in our system so we have to do all work on new files on paper instead of on our file system and then transfer everything over later.

I got a call from an 83 year old woman who said she was at Wal-Mart and a McDonald's employee knocked her over into some bicycles and now her ankle hurts and she can't wear her shoes. The funny part is that as I put her on hold and started getting out of my chair to go ask if anyone had her claim (since the computer system isn't working), I dropped my headset, wrapping the cord around my foot and stepping on it all in one fluid movement. It still works. kind of.

The prospects of a new job are getting more and more attractive...

Monkeys and Foxes

This afternoon was…interesting. It started out with a monkey eating a lollipop, transitioned into some incredibly powerful worship, which was followed by a moving Q&A session and challenge with Andy Stanley and John C Maxwell.

Then they brought out a member of Northpoint Community Church (the host of the conference) to speak to the masses. The emcee introduced him as an active member, a friend, and a partner in his bible study. Then he said he also has sold millions of comedy albums throughout the US. Georgia’s own, Jeff Foxworthy. Insane. So he came out with the usual redneck jokes and Southern humor, which was hilarious. But then something profound happened…he started preaching!

He said that when he was younger he questioned God a lot and often tried to unveil Him. But one day he came to a realization: “If I could figure God out, He probably wouldn’t be worthy of my worship, ‘cause I ain’t that bright.”

He continued, “I know God loves rednecks ‘cause His book is full of rednecks. Jesus came to earth as a redneck-born in a manger to a peasant girl and a carpenter in a small town. It wasn’t in a palace like everybody expected…He started at the bottom because his love is for everybody.”

Other biblical rednecks include:
Sampson-who had “the mother of all mullets”
-who caught 300 foxes, tied their tales together, lit them on fire and sent them through the crops of the Philistines. “You don’t get more redneck than that!”
-who killed 1,000 people with a donkey jaw bone. “You know that’s a redneck WWF move right there.”

David-who killed a guy with a sling shot, tried to kill another one in a cave when he was going to the bathroom, and peeked over a wall to see another man’s wife bathing-“totally redneck.”

John the Baptist-a guy who wore animal skins and ate locust. “Screams West Virginia!” (some audience member near the stage cheered). “You folks from West Virginia?” (Looks back at the stage lights) “What do you think of this electricity?”

The woman in the well-a lady who was divorced 5 times, shacked up with the 6th…if there had been trailers back then…

Then Mr. Foxworthy brought it back to the point by saying God took unremarkable people and did remarkable things with them over and over again.

My favorite point, since this is a leadership conference: “Even on our very best day, we are sheep leading other sheep. There is only one Good Shepard.”
Awesome.

conference update

Wow, it's been an adventure and a journey already and we've only been through 2 sessions.

If you haven't read the other guys' blogs, here's what's happened so far...

Last night we came back to the hotel after dinner. Jake and I went into the lobby to get an iron and ironing board while Chris and Charlie went up to the room. As we were waiting in line at the front desk (the attendant was busy answering the constantly ringing phone since the fire alarm was going off for the second time that eveing), we noticed a stream of water that had formed along a line in the ceiling and was dripping into a bucket. When the clerk asked what room we were in, we said "228" and she pointed to the water coming down and said, "that's your room!" The owner of the hotel then quickly snapped, "Is anyone taking a shower right now?" We replied, no that we had been at dinner for over an hour. He then said that the water had been running constantly and our room was flooding the lobby below it. Um...this can't be. So we ran upstairs and sure enough, the floor was soaked with toilet water. Apparently it didn't stop running the whole time we were gone. The maintenance guy (who speaks only a few words of english) attempted to vaccuum up the water, but it still smells like "gross." Luckily, the only casualty was Jake's pillow-no clothes, laptops, etc.

On the contrary, the worship, entertainment, and teaching at the conference has been great. Can't wait for more! Check out Chris's and Charlie's blogs for more details.

ALSO-Please pray healing for Bri's father. He was bitten by a brown recluse spider and has been flown to the ICU in Nashville with a life-threatening infection.

dorks.

So, we just arrived in our hotel in HotLanta and the four of us have been without internet for approximately 35 hours. We have been craving wi-fi like a pregnant woman craves peppermint orange juice. We had been praying that once we arrived we would be able to check our emails, sports scores, myspace's, etc...And alas, we are here, and we have free wi-fi. What a glorious afternoon this has become. Here you see us all in our most satisfying positions...laptops on laps.

Cattle-ist

I’m excited.

Tomorrow I, Jake, Charlie, and Chris (two “J’s”, two “C’s”) are headed to Atlanta for the Catalyst Conference (i know it's improper grammar, but it was necessary for the acronym).

I’m so ready to just be a sponge, soaking up all kinds of knowledge and ideas for the ministry at Nexus.

It’s time for some rejuvenation after a month of hard labor working on the house and stress at work.

Refresh my soul!

I think Charlie will be posting updates here: http://charliedean.blogspot.com/

Domicile.

Move-in day was a success. The only casualty was Bri’s phone, which managed to ride for more than 8 blocks on the trunk of her car before sliding off and getting run over several times on War Memorial Drive. Poor Bri.

Other highlights included:

Rapid-fire pneumatic staple gun.

My dad calling me a “mongoloid” after I ducked to allow my bed frame, which was leaning against the inside wall of the trailer, to flip over my head and crash to the floor rather than catching it (picture a cartoon where the façade of the building falls and the character survives by standing in an open window frame).

Discovering a lost civilization under the kitchen counter and cabinets where several 100 generations of mice must have lived (this revelation was only made because it was necessary to pull out the cabinets to replace the floor. Fun. And gross.).

Buying an 8-foot long dryer vent pipe, which was 5 feet too short to actually function.

Cougar hiding on the top shelf of the storage room in the basement for 6 hours because he was freaked out by the new house.

Attempting to roll the dryer out of the trailer on a cart without using a ramp, resulting in a very loud crash when the strap came off and the side of the dryer hit the concrete. I hope it still works.

Using brute strength and pent up frustration to tear out and destroy the old kitchen floor. Priceless.

TGIF (Talking Giraffes Infest Florida)

It's going to be a good day.
I got an email from my boss this morning, informing the liability unit that we just denied renewal of two of our largest accounts. One is a huge corporation that owns Krispy Kreme franchises, several hotels, catering services, and restaurants in PA. The other owns 53 McDonald's in FL. Collectively, I've handled 50 claims for the two accounts in the past 6 months. That's more than a claim a week/per account. Considering we have 10 examiners in our unit, that's approximately 960 claims a year in liability alone. Good riddance!

Church Squirrels.

There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

sorry, i couldn't resist.

Weekend, what's a weekend?

I don't remember what it's like to relax.

maybe soon...

I did it-sanded 4 floors in 24 hours. Couldn't have done it without Bri! I'm still feeling it in every muscle and joint. It was worth it though. Bri and I are putting the second coat of finish on the floors tonight and maybe finishing painting the kitchen if we have time. The carpet was installed in the theatre saturday morning, so all that's left for the floors is the kitchen and breakfast area.

Still on schedule to move in Saturday!!

then i can relax...(probably not).

Almost there!

Mint green before, beautiful blue after...

Horrendous, psychedelic “Magic Eye” wallpaper in bedroom 1 before, soothing neutrals after…

Progress-slow, but steady.

Theatre room before. Notice the nasty, stained blue carpet.
Theatre room after. Light beige carpet is coming next week! The 52" HDTV is going at the end of the room, with suspended 7.1 Dolby Digital THX speakers surrounding the viewers.


Before and after of bedroom two. Blue wallpaper is gone! Hardwood floors in both upstairs bedrooms, the office, and the dining room are being refinished starting tomorrow night. Can I do 4 rooms in 24 hours? I sure hope so.

I am eagerly seeking volunteers to help pull up linoleum in the kitchen or to pull staples from the hardwood tomorrow night or saturday. I will be finishing the floors sunday if you would like to apply urethane! Or you could help Bri paint trim. Or just come make us laugh. Or bring cookies.

Updates.

After working diligently on the house for the past week and a half, we only have the kitchen and trim left to paint (finally removed the last of the wallpaper last night), staples and carpet tack strips to pull from the wood floors, linoleum to remove from the kitchen and breakfast area, then sanding and sealing the hardwood in the bedrooms and office. Yesterday, a friend at work asked me if i'd like a free 32" Sony Trinitron TV that his parents were getting rid of. Gee, let me think....um, sure. So now I have a TV for the living room or my bedroom, if I can lug the 200lb beast up the stairs. sweet. The floors in the kitchen and "theatre" are getting measured today for new vinyl and carpet.

I tried 5 times to upload pictures, but blogger is being difficult. Will add them later.

tag, you're it!

Three things that scare me.
1. Caves
2. Needles
3. Goats (I just don't trust them)

Three people who make me laugh.
1. Bri (when she used words and phrases like "redonkulous" and "crazy as a moon chicken")
2. Will Ferrell
3. Steve Carrell

Three things I hate.
1. Freakin' wallpaper
2. Allergies
3. Hopelessly tangled speaker wires

Three things I am doing right now.
1. Acting like I am working diligently (I've mastered this)
2. Thinking about linoleum
3. Wishing it was October (Catalyst, here we come!)

Three things I want to do before I die.
1. Sing in front of a screaming crowd (hopefully not screamed because i'm bad)
2. Climb a mountain
3. Raise a happy family (sappy, i know)

Three things I can do.
1. Taxidermy
2. Mix random ingredients into a delightful meal
3. Make the most of any situation

Three ways to describe my personality.
1. Easy-going
2. Laughable
3. Determined

Three things I can’t do.
1. A flawlessly executed kartwheel.
2. Breathe under water
3. Knit

Three things I think you should listen to.
1. Kids-they're funny when they don't even try.
2. People with life experience-not just an education.
3. Rob Bell

Three favorite foods.
1. Chicken
2. Chicken
3. Chicken

Three shows I watched as a kid.
1. Animaniacs
2. X-Files
3. He-Man

Three people I tag.
http://mediumgreen.blogspot.com/
http://blandthought.blogspot.com/
http://swishthedish.blogspot.com/

Memoirs of a Ganschow (and other obscure movie references)

I few dozen blogs ago, I posted a list of things that I am fond of and not so fond of. At the top of the list of things that drive me berserk was the Dodge Neon. I just hate them and I can’t explain why. However, home ownership has now brought to light something far more sinister.

WALLPAPER.

Who the “h” invented this crap? Seriously. Let’s take some 1,000 year Ultra-Bond and permanently cement the most heinous floral pattern onto this wall (especially into every crevice that will be utterly impossibly to remove with a scraper, trowel, or jack hammer). Sometimes I honestly feel it would be easier to take it off with a claw hammer and put up a new wall. Or burn it down. Or go totally “trailer” and just paint over it.

Other than that, the improvement are going well (and draining all financial reserves).

And I’ve replaced my blood with a caffeine-laced substance resembling maple syrup to keep me going at the office after long nights at Yellow House.

And I think I’m going to change the name of my blog to “Memoirs of a Ganschow.”

Boosts energy, makes you taste colors...

So I'm trying this new diet where all I eat is the following product:

No wonder those people on Chinese game shows are always so hyper!

House=Work.

It was a crazy, messy, fun, tiring weekend at the new house. 8 rooms now have either been painted, stripped of wall paper, primed, or a combination of these. Hopefully all painting will be done by this weekend so I can start tearing up the stained and disgusting carpet and linoleum in preparation of floor restoration.

Are we there yet?

A special thanks to Mr. Eric Potter, who snuck into the house in the wee hours of Saturday morning to paint the breakfast room before I could get there...
To my parents for all of their hard work painting and for bringing down the food to keep us going!
To Beth Bernard for helping me prime and paint yesterday afternoon!
To everyone who came over for the feast on Friday evening...

And of course, to my wonderful BRI for all of her hard work, endless ideas, and determination!
She stayed at the house Friday night after everyone left and painted until 5am! Then she came back after sleeping for a few hours and worked until 2am Sunday (then worked all day at he mall). Love you Bri!!!

This is funny...if it's fraudulent.

Another examiner got a new file yesterday where a lady is alleging she was eating some delicious Mickey Dee's food while driving. She suddenly began vomiting, passed out, and crashed her car.

Sounds very unfortunate right?

This is just speculation, but experience tell me that THIS is what actually happened: The claimant has no car insurance, was most likely driving drunk, wrecked her car, and is now looking for deep pockets to pay her bills.

I'll keep you posted.

Gathering Tonight.

Friends:
7pm tonight at Yellow House. There will be feasting and fellowship. If you are reading this, you are invited. I'm cooking some fresh goose and dove, but if you'd like to bring snacks and beverages, it would be much appreciated. Wall paper removal and painting begins tomorrow if you would like to help! See you soon.

1014 E. Elmhurst

Performance Review

Yesterday afternoon, my boss came over and asked if he could speak with me for a few minutes in the conference room. I said sure. What else could I say?

I walked into the room ahead of him, he entered, closed the door, and asked me to have a seat.

Still standing, with a stack of papers in hand he stared at me and said, “Radio Shack fires people through email, but I have the dignity to do it in person.” Blank stare, no expression.


Then he burst out laughing.
And told me I was “awesome.”

That’s why I love my job. Well, like it…sometimes.

DL

Anyone know where I can get a robot arm? After years of arm wrestling, weight lifting, wall climbing, moutain biking, wild boar hunting, etc., my right arm officially has a partially torn bicep. I didn't even do it while doing something cool or dangerous like knife fighting or kangaroo boxing. All I did was throw a softball. Not cool. Not cool at all.

Doctor said I can't throw for 2-3 weeks. ouch.

Winged Weekend.

What a weekend! I went hunting with my dad and uncle and some of their friends Saturday and Sunday. While dove hunting Saturday, we all limited out (15 birds a piece) within 3 hours! I think I shot 3 and a half boxes of shells. My jaw was a little sore by the end of the afternoon from all the recoil, but it was a blast. Literally. I got a lot on video with the helmet cam.

Sunday we went goose hunting. My dad’s best friend’s wife owns a golf course up by Utica, IL. Across the road are a couple of ponds and a cabin that they also own. The geese like to fly between the cabin and the lakes on the golf course. Geese on a golf course don’t make anyone happy. Hunting geese makes us happy. Therefore, it is logical that shooting geese on or near the golf course should make everyone happy, right?

Our morning began bright and early, with the guys calling over an impressive spread of decoys. However, nothing came in. At about 9:30, we decided to take a drive over to the course to see if there were any birds hanging out in the water hazards. We had no more than loaded up in the truck and pulled out from under the trees by the cabin when a flock of 7 honkers came in right over top of us and locked up their wings to land right in the decoys! My uncle threw the truck in reverse and hunters rolled out of the bed and doors. Like ants, everybody crept up to the cabin (where the guns were locked up) in single-file trying not to be spotted by the geese that were now wandering around looking at the decoys. Once inside, it was a mad dash for guns and ammo. 2 guys slipped back out the door and around one side of the building, while the other 3 went out the other way. Then everyone ran for the decoys. The geese all took off at once. None escaped. It was beautifully executed.

About an hour later we got a call from the golf course. There were birds on the 4th hole. With bow and arrows in hand, we boarded two golf carts and headed across the fairways, dodging golf balls. When we got to the water’s edge, the geese took off from the bank and started swimming for the middle. Now you would think that most people would be impressed by a 30-40 yard shot on a target as small as a goose with a bow. However, there were 2 golfers nearby that were less than thrilled. And we heard about it. But there are now 3 less geese to plant “landmines” on the greens. Sorry fellas.

Then we had to get a boat, haul it across the course in the back of a truck and paddle out to retrieve the birds and slew of arrows. It was an impressive sight to say the least. And it’s all on video.