this is good.

So, yesterday my buddy Jordan got an obviously false claim that a lady had found an insect head in her hamburger. It's a common question to ask how they discovered a foreign object in the product, since most people just shovel it in without carefully examining every delectable bite (i am speaking from experience here). so he asked... She said she saw the bugs "antlers" sticking out of her sandwich.

maybe it was a deer tick.


I also learned it costs $250 to have an emergency cleaning for the trunk of your $60,000 Cadillac if you drive 50 miles with a bag full of food in the back and au jus spills everywhere because you are an idiot.