It is astounding that your average, run-of-the mill fastfood patron is an expert in anything and everything. Today, a lady told me that she found a brown recluse spider in her beverage.
I have few problems with this: There are only two ways a spider could have gotten into a drink; it was either in the cup before pouring (which is impossible since they are tightly stacked upside down in a sleeve) or in the ice (possible). However, the ice bin was checked and is free of any spider evidence and if in fact, it was in the ice bin, logic would suggest it would sustain some sort of damage from the stirring and scooping process. Jane Doe's spider is in tact and is 2.5" long. That's a big freakin spider.
Another problem I have is that she found the thing "in the ice" 3.5 hours after buying it. And she's in the South. Are you telling me that ice lasts this long and is still capable of suspending an object?
The final problem is that she is not an entomologist. Of course she would choose the most dangerous spider in North America as the culprit. However, there are 546 spider species in Arkansas and adult brown recluse spiders are approximately the size of a quarter, including the length of their legs. And the only way they can harm you is by directly injecting venom through a bite.
So ma'am, bite me.
p.s. the title is in reference to the fact that spiders eat flies. funny.
2 comments:
Back in February, I was bitten by a brown recluse while asleep on my back shoulder. A "vein" of puss developed about a foot long across my back and stuck out about 4 inches from my back. I refused to go see a doctor for it. Because I knew how painful spider bites are (I grew up on a farm) and that there isn't much that can be done unless there is an infection. Well I finally when to the emergency room late one evening when the "vein" started throbbing and I was passing in and out of consciousness from the pain dispite having taken 8 capsules of Ibuprofen. They had to give me morphine before they could cut me open and remove the material that made the "vein" possible. I never had a fear of any creature like spiders before but I certainly am hesitant about spiders these days.
um, ouch. just watch out for them in your pepsi. that is, if you are from Arkansas and a complete liar and moron.
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