Murder Inc.

Ok, today has by far exceeded "crazy" on my weird-o-meter. I'll keep this short and sweet. This morning a guy claimed that McDonald's is trying to "kill him" by continuously serving him onions on his sandwiches because he is allergic to onions. He said this is the fifth time it's happened at the same store. Um, dude, if you're that allergic why don't you check the burger before you binge. The kicker-he ate half the sandwich before realizing there were onions on it. While yelling that he'd have to rush to the E.R., he still took the time to fill out a report and talk with the manager, all the while showing no signs of anaphylaxis.

The next two come from the same Applebee's restaurant. The first is an alleged food poisoning case where the clmt says his girlfriend was already in the hospital within two hours after eating at the store (food poisoning generally takes 6-48 hours to hit you). He was screaming profanities at the manager and demanding his $38 back. The manager explained that this would have to be turned into the insurance company and he'd have to talk to them about it. At this, his rage increased along with his nonsensical stream of swear words. The insured hung up the phone. The "gentleman" called back, this time threatening to kill the manager and other employees if he was not refunded his money. The manager called the police.

And finally, another diner claimed he found a 1/2" lug nut in his mashed potatoes. The nut was in pristine condition and in the top of the serving, which broke two of the guy's teeth (maybe they were the last two teeth in his skull). The problem is that this restaurant makes their mashed potatoes from scratch and nowhere in the process is any form of machinery. Even if there had been, brand new, shiny nuts usually don't just fall out of appliances. Although he was in excrutiating pain, the customer still managed to eat an entire ribeye steak, compliments of the house. He happened to mention that the tooth directly in front of the affected area just had a root canal and cap put on two weeks ago. What do you suppose the chances are that these two teeth the the "nut broke" were already damaged and he just couldn't afford to have them all fixed? He told me that this was the last time I'd be speaking with him because his lawyers would be calling me. I said "that sounds great, bye." I love it.