Today is a Friday. Fridays are slow in the world of commercial insurance claims. This is because most people don't go out on Wednesday or Thursday night (or at least the crazy ones), in preparation for the weekend. Mondays are another story. The lull in activity has allowed me to reflect on exactly what this job entails-Lots of internet surfing, punctuated by the most random, off-the-wall, hair-brained phone calls from people who should not be allowed to reproduce.
Today's Darwin Winners are as follows:
An older gentleman who, after eating a McD's breakfast, went to his car to leave, but before he could get the door unlocked had a sudden gastro-intestinal feeling of urgency, forcing him to make a run for the restroom. Apparently he didn't quite make it to the throne in time before he "exploded from both ends." The result was that he had "made quite a mess of himself" and shuffled to the bathroom door lacking his soiled pants and yelled for someone to help him. He wanted someone to call his wife so she could bring him new clothes. A concerned customer immediately called 911. The result-an ambulance takes Mr. Poopypants to the hospital for three days and now he wants us to pay the bill (and McD's didn't cause the illness).
Another man claims he has broken several teeth and loosened others on a metal object in a McD's sandwich. He managed to spit out the broken teeth, but inadvertently swallowed the metal object. Tell me, if an object is big enough to significantly damage 1/6 of the teeth in your skull: #1 shouldn't you have seen the thing before you put it in your mouth and #2 how in the world did you swallow it? Now this guy is claiming that his family is concerned for his life because he's losing weight by not eating. um....good luck buddy.
Stay tuned for further developments
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4 comments:
Hahaha, dude, your blog is funny. I love hearing stories like your Darwin Awards. My dad owns an insurance agency so he occasionally has stories like that. I don't know if we've been formally introduced, but I'll be living in the same house as Bri, Autumn, and Bethany in less than a month, so I'm sure we'll see each other around. Later
Thanks for your comments! Yeah, i've seen ya around at N-Dubs (i'm going to start that as a new name for northwoods cause it's hip). I'll be sure to say hi. Good luck living with all those crazies upstairs. they're nutty.
What the bleep? That was my uncle who poo'd his pants....give him his money or else......
chris, i'm sorry for uncle dumpydrawers. tell him to wash it out, zip it up, and keep on truckin. i'll send him a gift certificate to wal-mart so he can buy a blender and consume the rest of his meal via crazy straw.
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