German squirrel on a rampage injures 3 people

BERLIN - An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.

The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said on Thursday.

With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.

The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.

"After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man's garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh," the spokesman said. "Then he killed it with his crutch."

The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill.

Dad Day Myths.

these were on PostSecret yesterday. I can't wait to create a chain of lies to entertain my children some day!

My dad used to say that inside of the car's air-bags was uncooked popcorn. When you wrecked the popcorn would pop and you would have a snack until help came.

When I was little, my dad told me ATMs worked by having little monkeys inside them. I believed that for years. Now I work in a bank, and wish it were true!

My dad told me the worst swear word you could possibly say was "Bostonian". It meant "someone who has no private parts." My brother and I used the word until we were teenagers and my father giggled every time we said it, right before he sent us to our rooms.

When i was little my dad told me that polyester was a small animal in australia & they would kill it to make clothes. That night i sat in my room reading the labels on my clothes for hours & threw all of the polyester ones away.

sweet, but too short

The weekend was good. It's always great to spend a day with family, and I'm so thankful to have a father who cares. Gina met my mom's side of the family. ALL of them-Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, cousin-in-laws, pets, etc. I don't think she was tooo traumatized.
We also spent some much needed time in the yard Sunday morning. My landscaping is...lacking, to say the least. I spent about 1.5 hours pulling dying Creeping Charlie that my dad sprayed the week before. It had completely over-run the back flower beds and was working its way up the yard to the back porch. If I had let it go any longer, it most likely would have engulfed the entire house. Gina's mom brought me a bunch of flowers and plants she dug out of her own yard to transplant. It looks 100% better already!
After the pool party last night, we dropped off my poor car at the body shop. Thanks again to Leslie for letting me borrow your car for the week!
Ok, it's monday. Time to give the appearance of diligent work...

grouchy irony

Every once and awhile, I catch a glimpse of my old job shining through-not in the routine of work, but in the brand of people I can't escape.

For example: there is a lady in our county who's parents developed an area of land around a lake/mosquito breeding pit. They leased the property to people to build houses/dilapidated shacks on. Not to stereotype, but in general, the kind of people who want to live on a swamp aren't the most concerned with the upkeep of their property, i.e. mowing, disposing of trash, patching holes in windows, roofs, etc. So the lady who leases the property complains to the health department constantly about the people living on her family's land. We in turn, are obligated to investigate the complaints. I received 3 complaints from this lady in two days, complaining of high weeds. 2 of the properties had been mowed 2-3 days prior. The other had one patch of high grass that looked like a decorative prairie. Nonetheless, I sent a notice of violation, asking them to mow. They did not respond. So now I sent a final notice. If they don't take action, they have to appear for a hearing, which they won't do. Then they get a fine, which they won't pay.
Here's the irony.
A lien is then put on the real estate, which must be paid by the owner. The owner is the lady who filed the complaint. I love it. And hate it. Why won't these people go away?

crunched.

that's how i feel these days.
I just realized I haven't posted since last tuesday. Oh well. If something gets put on the back burner, what better than blogging about nothing.

So what has happened since then?

The parents came down sunday for lunch and brought my two gorgeous deer mounts, which dad and I hung in the living room on either side of the fireplace. When Gina saw them later, she said "they look really good." And that, my friends, is why she is a keeper!

I've been taking care of the Potter's house, botanical garden, and cats while they are in the Dominican Republic. They have literlly 80,000 plants in their yard. i have a tree and some Creeping Charlie. (That would be a good name for Mr. Dean). The first night I went to feed the cats, Puma (no relation to my Cougar) rolled over on his back, which I took as a sign that he wanted me to pet his belly. Apparently he did not. I still have 4 fang wounds on my wrist.

I'm still looking for new roommates. I hate money. Actually I just hate that everyone wants mine and i don't have enough to go around.

I went camping at Clinton Lake for my buddy Josh's bachelor party. It was a great "guy's night" out. Highlights: Josh running around on Corey's "PoweriZers" (google them) while Corey received a citation for "public display of genetalia," for urinating at a campground outside the outhouse. classy. but hilarious. Also: waking Corey up the next morning by pulling out all the tent stakes and throwing a box on the roof.

Other than that, it's been more of the usual-Reality summer tour, work, workouts, and as much Gina time as I can get!

p.s. happy birthday Chris Evans-the best accountability partner, pastry chef, and horse shoer a guy could ask for.

Anyone looking for a home (or know someone who is)?

Hey friends. One of my roommates moved to Alabama last week, another will be moving in 2 weeks and the other is most likely moving in July. Which leaves me in a sticky situation. If you know anyone who is looking for a place to stay, please pass along my info. Thanks!

I have a room available immediately for rent! Perfect arrangement for summer internship or short-term lease. $450/month includes all utilities, cable, high speed wireless internet. The house is 1640 sq feet, 4 bedrooms, 1.5 bath, two living rooms, dining room, breakfast area, kitchen, and finished basement. Free washer and dryer on site. On street parking. Storage space available in basement and garage. Room is approximately 150 sq. feet, with newly refinished hardwood floor and two closets. House will be shared with myself and 1-2 other roommates I'm looking for a student/professional, 22-30 years old, non-smoker. No pets, please. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me!

THANK YOU to Leslie and Ryan & Molly for offering me your vehicles (and less than an hour after posting the previous blog)! You are amazing friends and I love ya!

car doctor

So I took my baby (not Gina, the other one) to the car doctor tonight after work. They are going to save her front bumper and just refinish it, but her hood is shot. However, it is going to be replaced with a RamAir hood. chaching! They are also going to buff out the spot on the driver's side from the last hit 'n run.

Does anyone have a mo-ped or horse I can borrow June 18-21?

why me?

i was just informed that my car had been hit in the parking lot in front of the office. there's 50 feet between the parking spaces along our building and where I was parked-next to a big yellow truck. HELLO?
of course, the culprit did not have enough dignity to report it.
so now i'm stuck with a $500 deductible for a hit-and-run.
for the 2nd time in a year.
the front bumper is damaged and the hood is buckled and curled under. classy.

why can't i ever get ahead.
i hate money.


HAPPY FRIDAY.

yep, i was wrong.

staggering defeat.

i could chalk it up to missing players and shuffled positions.

or maybe we were just off.

either way, we are humbled.

and it was still fun.

please-not another softball game in the rain tonight. while it may have been to our advantage last week (17 runs in the first inning), i'd rather not bat in a torrential downpour.
so far, the Nexus team is undefeated. i guess God just likes us more than the other teams.

update

Hello friends,
I am still here. Long weekend was MUCH needed and MUCH fun. Where to begin? friday.
Helped my buddy Joe work on the nursery for he and Ashby's baby, who will be arriving this week. Had lots of catching up to do. Did so through paint fumes and drywall dust.
saturday.
Spent the day with the future in-laws in celebrated Astoria, IL. First I attended Gina's hair highlighting and cutting appointment with her aunt. Then had a great meal that her mom prepared, followed by shooting some clay pigeons and a .45 with her dad. The afternoon concluded with a road tour through historic Camp Ellis in an absolute downpour. Absolutely wonderful day! Then home for a movie-G was out like a light by 9:07pm.
sunday.
9am church, a two-hour workout, lunch, cleaned out the gutters, and weeded the lawn. That Gina sure is a trooper! I am so blessed to have someone with the same interests, who has fun doing weird stuff around the house. amazing! Then we grilled out with Miley and Eric across the street, capping the night with an episode of "Arrested Development."
this weekend was "random" to say the least.
memorable monday.
slept in (or planned to). cats had other ideas. i was up at 6. jerks.
Went to a cookout at Cory and Vicky's. Much fun with great friends. The sun decided to come out, making perfect weather for another cut-throat bocce ball game, again won by Ryan Hite and yours truly. Spent the afternoon fighting with digital equipment that refused to cooperate, but finally got the latest boar hunting video to burn. HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF. I thought 40 hours of work was gone-harddrive was reformatted and only existing copy of the dvd was corrupted. things are good now. i can sleep. AND i'm all caught up on episodes of "the office."
tomorrow starts a wonderfully short week of work.
wow, what a seemingly boring life. but it's a good life.

NRA show in Chicago.

No, not the National Rifle Association-which would have been equally as cool, but not as delicious. I drove 6 hours in a minivan today to-and-from the McCormick Center for the National Restaurant Association's annual show. There were vendors, restaurants, food suppliers, etc. from all over the world with all kinds of free samples and gadgets. Very cool.
I was literally FULL from all the food samples before lunch. I think I may have had 3 small pieces of meat and a Jolly Rancher slushi this afternoon and that was enough to hold me over until dinner (10pm).
Just a fun day of food and camaraderie with my other inspector friends.

Everything else has been going great too. Last weekend was filled with graduation parties, the last "Reality" of the school year, and lots of treasured time with my GIRL.
Sunday we went to church, had brunch, took a 2-hour walk through the beautiful Springdale Cemetery and then to Imo's for more ice cream than a human should be allowed to consume (and then I went into a sugar coma for 2 weeks).

It was just one of those weekends that makes you say, "ahhhh."

4 days left until Friday!
...what to do for Memorial Day?

Lights (High- and Low-)

Where do I begin?!
This past week I was in berserk mode 24/7. And I'm glad it's over. Here are some key aspects into why it was the craziest week on record:
1. Weekend Duty at the Health Dept. (I did 9 temporary food establishment inspections on Friday alone).
2. 4 miserable days of allergies (sometimes I wish my nose was inverted so it couldn't run-and we would be more like whales when swimming).
3. The house I purchased is apparently possessed by a poltergeist. Thursday night, 20 minutes before life group was to begin at my domocile, the electricity went out in half of the house. Namely, the half that controls the air conditioning, most of the lights, some outlets, etc. It came back on (sort of) about an hour later-but would pulsate and flicker, but barely had enough strength to turn a ceiling fan. Several calls to CILCO and an electrician's bill later, almost everything works.
4. First softball game of the season. We are stellar. 9-6, good guys.
5. IHOP (International House of Prayer) was at Nwoods this weekend and the Reality leaders attended as a group Friday night. Hearing God's words of affirmation spoken through his people is powerful, moving, and uplifting. Wow.
6. Suprising the wonderful employees of Denny's with a 7:30am Saturday inspection.
7. Spending Thursday in the glorious Pekin Dragon's Dome. The floor is squishy.
8. Molly's graduation party. Two incredible Bocce ball bouts-comeback stories of the century.
9. I couldn't find the Blockbuster online movie that came this week when going through the mound of paperwork and bills on my desk this afternoon. There's only one place it could have been. Yes, in one of the steaming bags of garbage in the cans on the back porch with the junk mail. And it was. Right under the banana peels and cat food cans. Sorry "Ten Commandments." I think I'll send it back.
10. Second to last Reality of the year. Harmonica.
11. Spending quality time with Gina (sorry Leslie, but you knew that was coming).
12. While I couldn't be with my Momma on Momma's Day, at least I got to talk to her on the phone. Love you, Mom!

And thus concludes my crazy week.

camptown races

I had a great weekend! We had a beautiful day for the Kentucky Derby party and our horse got 2nd place. Gina knows how to pick 'em. It was very cool because my friends and her friends were all there (and they're the same people). Still quite strange we never met before now.
I had to work both days to do some inspections of temporary food establishments, which are quick and easy and the mileage check adds up from driving all over the county.
Yesterday we had our first practice game for softball. I think we've got a pretty promising team for the summer league! As is typical, I rolled my ankle going after a ball, which didn't hurt very badly at the time, but became excruciatingly painful by the end of the night. It was moderately better this morning, so hope it's functional by our first game thursday. I'm falling apart.
Is it bad that I'm living for the weekends and not appreciating the week days? Oh well. The sun is shining!

what is beauty?

mutual, uncontrollable laughter.
shared prayer at the end of a long day.
shared ice cream-anytime!
a friend whose ear never tires and shoulder never grows cold.
bird songs at daybreak.
a clean house.
the smiling face of the one you love.
helping those in need.
puppy kisses.
budding trees in the spring.
holding your world in your arms as they drift into sleep...

drippy.

i came to the quick realization today that sampling a septic system in a torrential downpour requires both a rain coat AND rain pants. failure to wear both results in soggy britches for the remainder of the day.
also: boots are a good idea. squish.

i confess

Last night on knoxville avenue at approximately 5:52pmCST, I committed involuntary vehicular squirrelicide.


poor little fella didn't even see it coming.

pruned.

John 15
The Vine and the Branches
1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

It's funny (or ignorant) how we (I) hold onto things in life that bear no fruit and resist pruning when we know that eliminating the branch will give room for life to flourish. When we try to do things on our own, the results are bitter, sterile. We need the Gardener's careful touch to bloom into what HE has planned for us...

2 Corinthians 6:14
Do Not Be Yoked With Unbelievers
14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Tonight I am thankful for the Gardener's pruning, for in it the darkness has turned to light!

ecclectic

The past two days on the job have brought me to the conclusion that you have to a)be at least a little crazy to work here, and b)have the capacity to let your mind jump from one task to another every 14 seconds.

For instance: today I arrived, thinking I was just attending a pool conference in the morning and would have nothing to do the rest of the day. However, that was not the case. I had two septic system tests to schedule, a pile of temporary food licenses to sort through and schedule inspection times for this weekend, then was asked to go check out an extensive septic system that a farmer decided he was going to install himself. I was impressed, to say the least. He had dug a hole, approximately 15 feet wide, 15 feet deep, and 20 feet wide to put the tank in and over 1200 square feet of trenches BY HAND. And he had 5 more trenches to dig. Then I came back and talked to a guy on the phone who wanted to know what kind of cleaner to use on the floor of his daycare, while trying to plan out my next day of restaurant inspections.
We can't work more than 40 hours per week without getting scolded, so I have to figure out how much time it will take to drive to each temporary location over the weekend and do the inspections and then take off early some day this week.
It's wild and crazy! but i like it.

whirlwind

overwhelming joy. a spirit at ease.
that's as close as I can get to describing what i've felt over the past 2 weeks. spending time with Gina is like being reunited with a best friend I'd never met.

i know you're probably sick of hearing about her. but that's too bad. you're going to hear more (or you can read someone else's blog, i guess).

it's kind of like i'm living in a cheesy country song. everything is perfect just being in her company. the sun is always shining from her eyes. the mood instantly lightens when she walks in a room. i get giddy when the phone rings and it's her. see what i mean?!

it's not infatuation. it's not lust. it's more.

and for those of you making bets-quit it. you're going to jinx us! but it's cute.

Gina-i'll see you in 11 hours!!

timely "Sleeping at Last" song...

Tension & Thrill

The headlines talk
Of sadness and new risk.
Life is deadly,
My finger’s to your lips.
We’ll send the world in reverse.

Love is tension and thrill
That begs to be ours.

We are diamonds waiting to be found,
Catching light in the corners of our eyes.
We are diamonds waiting to be found.

We are the hunted,
We are the shining northern lights.
We are the nervous,
We feel our hands becoming vines.
We’ll dream in color tonight.

Love is tension and thrill
That begs to be ours.
There are cities inside of everyone:
Life within life,
The trembling in our voice.

When I look into your eyes
I see the tip of an iceberg.
When I look into your eyes
I see that love is an iceberg
That throws us into the sea.

We’re walking on the ocean floor,
Feeding sharks out of our hands.

We are diamonds waiting to be found,
Catching light in the corners of our eyes.
We are diamonds waiting to be found.


We have been found!

something new, something real.

What a difference a week makes. It's safe to say the news is out. I have met someone.
But Gina is different. For some reason, I've always seemed to attract girls with baggage. LOTS of baggage. And girls who were one person in public, and a completely different person in private. weird. always lacking authenticity and genuine character.
Gina is different. She is someone I can openly share my faith with. She understands what makes me tick-and why I spend so much time at church with crazy high schoolers (who I love)!
she's real. she's a beautiful person-inside and out! It is utterly uncanny how much we have in common.
actually, it's a bit frightening.
even the things we've always hoped life and relationships would one day be like are aligned in a way that is undeniably profound.
I can be 138.4% open with her about anything and everything. We talk for hours-sacrificing sleep and early morning sanity to learn about each other.
i've turned into a complete sap.
and i don't care.
Gina is different. Gina is amazing.

i promise this is not turning into a poetry blog.
weird.
it's just the way things have been pouring out lately.
unexpected surprises, both good and bad, but MUCH more good!
someone who understands-finally!
words can't encapsulate these feelings.
wisdom beyond experience.
adoration.
jubilation.

an affirmation with her every word.
g.

when life is at its best and past obstacles have faded in the dust of your footprints, the enemy siezes an opportunity to plunge a dagger of lies into the soft under-belly of assurance.

to the unbeliever it may be a fatal blow.

But the betrayal of trust, the deciet, the cruel and heartless act of defying a mercy and grace-filled commitment...

is washed away by the comfort and healing words of wisdom, love, and encouragment of true and loving brothers and sisters.

The enemy has no power within the camp of the believers. He is defeated by the most powerful and priceless weapon of love.

thank you b, d, c, l, and g for your words and your prayers! i love you all!

friday. 2:31pm.

anticipation.

for tonight.
a battle. of bands.
Reality students. and other students lost in reality.
anticipating their connection.

for tommorrow.
friends. and a festival.
A new friend. and a new found hope.
anticipating the moment when surface friendships
transform
into authentic relationships.
amen.

AMAZing weekEND

Whew, I needed that!
It was one of those relaxing weekends, not for laziness, but for getting things accomplished and the satisfaction that comes from checking things off the to-do list. And for friends. Great friends, new and old. Nexus was thought-provoking and fun, as usual. I met some awesome new people and am eagerly anticipating building new relationships. The clouds of the past several weeks have definitely lifted and HIS hands are at work! I love it!

bueno.

Fridays are my favorite. There's just something in the anticipation that they bring that makes the whole day pass faster than any other work day. I'll be spending some kwality time with my boys-Tom and Kyle tonight and should be getting my precious Grand Am back after a week in the shop. Tomorrow is NEXUS! I may even get to mow my yard (meadow) for the first time EVER-or change my oil-or clean out the gutters-or something. The possibilities. Either way, it's all goooooooood.

There is a certain beauty in storms.


It begins with a single drop of rain.
Then a chorus of bursting tears on the pavement.
The wind rushes in like a stampeding herd.
A bolt of lightning illuminates all the night keeps hidden for an instant-
The empty space between flash and thunder steals your breath-
Then air shatters...life shatters.


But in the aftermath…in the still quietness after the thunder fades and clouds part…a glimmer of hope and light on the horizon…
there is peace.
There is new life.

awakening

time. once spent, it cannot be reclaimed. to someone with moments left to live, each millisecond is priceless. to one serving a life sentence, days pass like months.
why is it that there are split moments in time that remain vivid and ageless in our minds, while the rest pass without a second thought? why are there things we can't remember and others we can't foget, regardless of how hard we try?

an instant change the course of history.
the hammer piercing the roar of the crowd as it drove the nails into His flesh...
the thunder of the stone being rolled away...
the revelation that He had returned...

more personally, there are moments that change our lives. each and every decision steers us. often blindly we make choices that could enhance our life or end it-"do I take the shortcut home?", "do i eat my steak rare tonight?"
How do we spend the time we've been given and who do we spend it with? relationships. if a relationship fails, how do we cope with the time lost in it? is it really lost???

i yearn for the day when time no longer matters. where there is always time for dessert. where the band keeps playing one more song. where neighbors have time to share a beer on the tailgate after mowing the lawn. where jobs, phones, tv, and taxes take a backseat to meaningful conversation and deepened relationships.

help me to make the right decision this TIME.

TGIH.

4.5 hours until the end of the work week! I can't wait for some much-needed time off (a dog the size of a small horse bit me on the arm yesterday, but I was wearing a coat so it didn't break the skin). I am really enjoying the new job, but I just need a break from everything. It's time for friends, family, and food!

Tomorrow will be a day of reflection, rest, and remembrance. I always cherish the Good Friday service at Northwoods. It is somber and moving. It is a great reminder of the price that has been paid. Maybe I'll watch "The Passion" again.




I'm also looking forward to watching my roommate sheer her cat, Jack. His long black hair has coated everything in my house. Cougar keeps coughing up black hair balls. sick.

searching....?

As of today, I am officially turned loose for food inspections. Woohoo! Only 6 weeks of training.
The last two weeks of life have been more than busy. Hectic. Even more over-whelming than usual. I go to sleep exhausted and wake up tired. I go to the gym and have no energy. I've just been in an all-together bad mood.
I think part of it is stress and strain from the 17.3 directions life is pulling me. The other is that I don't ever see Bri anymore. She works more hours than a clinical physician, and then when she's off, she sleeps for 2 days. Or goes to Chicago to fill-in at another store. So, we've spent an accumulated 4-6 hours together over the past 2 weeks.

i need clarity. or answers. or clear answers.

and rest.

before you go out to eat...

Check out this website: http://www.healthinspections.com/index.cfm. Unfortunately Peoria County doesn't post it's restaurant inspection scores and Tazewell County is only now considering posting theirs. However, the website gives you a glimpse of what we inspectors see on a regular basis, which should make you think twice about your next dining selection. It's pretty scary stuff! Most of the time you would have no idea what is going on in the kitchen by looking at the dining room. If you take a look at restaurant scores from other cities and counties, a trend between the type of restaurant (atmosphere and cuisine) and the scores they receive is evident. For instance, I don't think I will ever feel safe eating at a Chinese restaurant or a big buffet again unless I can see what goes on behind the swinging kitchen doors first. You never know who or what is touching your food! Good luck out there!

Hunter "The Punter" Smith

In honor of Northwoods' 17th anniversary, Hunter Smith of the Superbowl-winning Colts was the guest speaker this weekend. He is the starting punter, place kicking holder, and 3rd string quarterback. Most would who have accomplished all he has would be content just squandering wealth or indulging in worldly things in the down time, Hunter dedicates his life to God, leading worship at his church, in time with other teammates in bible study, and is currently touring with another musician in anticipation of an upcoming album recording in Nashville (and he's actually really good)!
Something he said struck a chord. From someone who has reached the pinacle of his profession and has been blessed with so many things here, he said "the institutions of man only create hunger. They cannot fulfill." How many times have we seen celebrities and altheletes who seem to hold the world in their hands fall from grace and loose it all? We can gather things and hoard wealth and build our kingdoms of sand, but they will all fall here. There is only one kingdom that will stand forever. Put your all into HIS game, and you will be filled to overflowing!

p.s. At one point, Hunter was throwing autographed balls into the crowd and I caught a direct pass in the numbers. sweet!

sobering.

I've only been in this job for 6 weeks (5 if i discount the vacation), and I've seen a lot of eye-opening things already. Yesterday was a reminder to be thankful for what I have been blessed with and that money cannot buy happiness. I conducted my first complaint investigation yesterday afternoon. A tenant had reported that the basement of the home they were renting had filled with sewage and that the landlord would not clean it up or fix the problem. It sounded bad.
It was worse than I imagined. When we arrived, the tenant was outside of the home (approximately 150 sq. feet) with the front door open. I could smell the problem as soon as we got out of the vehicle. The tenant was not who I expected to meet either. She was only 18 and seemed well educated. She was just starting out. She welcomed me and the other inspector in and guided us down the basement stairs, a straight-shot from the front door. The basement was comprised of two small rooms, which served as the sleeping quarters, and the only bathroom. The entire basement was flooded with approx 2 inches of gray septic water and sewage. There was 4 inches of the noxious fluid standing in the shower. It had been this way for over 5 weeks and the landlord had only come and ripped out the carpet. The foam pad was still in place, though saturated. Thick black mold had begun growing on the walls. Half of their belongings were ruined.
We had no choice but to post the house as "Unfit for Human Habitation" and ask them to leave immediately for their own health and safety. This is only the third time the county has had to post a building in the past 10 years. I must be lucky.
Both of the tenants have been ill since the problem began and went to the hospital today for testing. The landlord, who would not return the tenant's calls before, finally called us today in response to a call from the director. She denies everything. The girl's mom called me today and said the tenants have no friends or family in the area and nowhere else to go-no money for a hotel, etc. All I could do is give them a name of a local law firm that helps people with low-income and suggest they call a shelter.
Lord, thank you for a mortgage payment, bills, and the means to an end. Help me to remember that I don't "need" things.

standing up.

I was grateful to spend a few minutes with Charlie to catch up last night after lifegroup with my Reality guys. While our chat focused mostly on spiritual formation and the church, it got my mind churning over night. Life has become even more hectic and busied than before. Work...serving...more work...maintenance on the house, car...laundry...cleaning...grocery shopping...gym...etc. I'm lucky if I get to eat dinner before 9pm. Then it's lights out before I know it. I'm exhausted. While I dreaded being at the last job, at least I could use the hours of boredom to delve into The Word. Now that time has been replaced-filled. I miss that time. I've made excuses and filled my only free time (between dinner and sleep) with more busy-ness. It must change. I need to pause. To listen.

I've also decided that I MUST finish my Master's thesis. I've come too far and invested too much to put it off any further. Goodbye Saturdays (Wildlife Prairie Park and Reality already have my Sundays).

And therein lies the struggle. Maybe I should have gone into the physics program and invented a time machine.

However, as Charlie reminded me, "it will pass." And as long as there is no sudden world shortage of chocolate, I think I will survive.

"The good Lord gave us mountains so we can learn how to climb."

My Day in Court.

I spent the majority of today in the Tazewell County Courthouse, pleading with a variety of judges, detectives, officers, and the State's attorney. I am an innocent man! I just needed to install radon detectors in their offices. It was kind of cool to go "behind the scenes" into the judges' chambers, evidence rooms, court rooms and bowels of the courthouse. All we have to do is flash our badges and we go right in through the metal detectors without getting "wanded." I'm big time now. Watch it.

i "heart" mud.

Today, which would have been the 1 year anniversary of my starting date at the insurance company, I did something much more enjoyable. I spent the day auditing a local well driller, which means I stood there and watched them drill a hole and made sure everything was done correctly and legally. Interesting, considering I've had exactly ZERO training on wells. However, I had plenty of spare time to read the well codes while basking in the sun. I always wondered how they drilled with a bit 100's of feet below ground and how they kept it all from collapsing. It was kind of like an episode of "Dirty Jobs"! All I know is that water came out when they were done (9 hours later) and apparently that's a good thing. It sure beats sitting behind a desk waiting for angry McDonald's customers to call! All's well that ends well!

Catching up.

Tonight after New Community I was driving home and it dawned on me that it had been a long time since I'd spoken with some of my closest friends from the past.

First I called Mandi, who I was a naturalist with at Wildlife Prairie State Park for 4 years. She is now the outreach director for the Great Lakes Science Center with a $145,000 budget and an overnight camp counselor at the Cleveland Zoo. She has got it made and is in two positions that could not be any more perfectly designed for her personality! (i'm pretty jealous).

Then I spoke with my high school best friend, Jeff, who is an aborist (tree doctor) in Chicago. We speak more frequently, so we mostly discussed Microsoft Vista (because we're nerds like that).

Then Jason, who was the third "J" along with Jeff and I for JX3 Productions (our early college years video production attempt) returned my previous call. Jason has since moved on to bigger and better things. He is definitely the most famous Mendota-an, as he now appears on TV in 160 countries around the world on a little program called "American Chopper." He is the concept artist/designer for Orange County Choppers. Between the stories of world travel (he flew to Australia for the weekend and if taking a private jet to Colorado tomorrow) and celebrities (Bill Murray, Billy Joel, etc), we shared hunting stories and talked about our girlfriends and families. It is just so awesome to me that with all the fame and fortune (which he won't admit), that Jason is still the same crazy kid I grew up with. I can't wait to get out there and meet all the guys in the shop!

It's comforting that no matter how far away your friends go, they never really leave (and I can watch Jason on Discovery Channel or TLC whenever I turn on the TV)!

Cirque du AMAZING.

Bri and I were given free tickets to last night's performance of Cirque du Soleil's "Delirium" at the Civic Center. I can't even begin to describe it except to say "wow." If I had dreams like that, I would never want to wake up! It's just crazy. If you ever have the chance to go, DO IT!!!

The best trip ever...

Well, after 6 incredible days of hunting the woods of East Texas, the boar hunters have returned to frozen Illinois. The ride down was less than spectacular. We left last Friday night to try and beat the winter storm blowing in. The storm had other plans, however. The 17-hour drive was stretched to 23.5 hours due to a maximum speed of 35mph on the interstate all the way to St. Louis! Once we arrived, we could not have asked for better weather-upper 70's and sunny every day! We thought we were going to get slammed by the huge storm system on the way home yesterday, but we drove behind it the whole way.



Our goal this year was to beat the record of 36 confirmed hog kills. We hunted HARD every day and were out until 2am two nights in a row trying to get as many pigs as possible. Despite two opportunities where a herd of pigs got up in front of us, jammed guns prevented the record from being broken (i know it sounds like an excuse, but i have the video to prove it!). We ended up with 35 pigs, 5 of which were killed with a spear (also on video).



On the last day, we were hunting "the island," which has historically produced some very large boars. When we were about 200 yards from the end of the island, a herd of approximately 20 of the long-haired beasts got up in front of my uncle and ran right at me. My dad, my uncle, and I opened up on them. I picked out the first pig and fired. It dropped from view behind a small rise along the creek. Then my gun jammed. Then the herd turned and ran right through me. I had a stampeding rapid pack of tusked demons run past me within 5 yards. When the smoke and dust cleared, 3 enormous pigs lay on the ground around me. My dad shot two trophy boars and I shot a sow that was the biggest any of the guys had ever seen. We couldn't even drag the 400-500 pounder. I'm sure Bri was excited to hear I'll now have a monster wild boar to hang on the wall!



It was an incredible trip that I will never forget! The DVD will be done in a month or so if anyone wants to see it!

It's that time again!

In 14 hours I will be departing the frigid winter of Illinois for balmy Texas in hopes of sending a herd of wild hogs to their maker. If I have internet access while I'm there, I will upload some photos along the way. Last year we bagged 34 of the nasty beasts. Can we break the record of 37 in one week?! You betcha!

my life as an EHS...

So...
It's been a crazy past 1.5 weeks. Bri is now out of the hospital and feeling much better. She was diagnosed with Crohn's, but has adjusted well because she is amazing. Now if she can only get home from Chicago with all of this crazy, blizzardy, weather.
In the midst of all this, I started my new job at the health department. So far it has been fun. There is a lot of variety to the job, so it will be hard to get bored. That also means I have a TON to learn (which is also good). A lot of it is learned by going out with other Environmental Health Specialists and observing what they do. I've accompanied them on several food inspections, a couple of home inspections, and some septic system samplings (not as bad as it sounds-just dipping a cup into the water that flows out of the tank after being treated). Traveling to the different locations really breaks up the day, so it's usually over before I know it. It really beats sitting behind a desk for 8 hours, staring at the clock! My co-workers are fun and very helpful. I can't wait to get out on my own (maybe in a few months)!

bri update

Friends,
Bri is now feeling better and will most likely be released tomorrow if she keeps improving. She has been diagnosed with Crohn's disease and is coping very well. She's a strong girl and will adapt. Thank you for all of your prayers and support!

note:

when you ask someone to pick up their relative at "the airport" and "the airport" you are referring to is not the airport in the city you live in, you must inform them that "the airport" you are referring to is 180 miles away. because when the generous person who volunteers to pick up your mother has set aside 45 minutes for the trip and is informed that they are to make a 6 hour trip to O'Hare and back instead of Peoria Int'l while on their way out the door, they will not be happy. they will be pissed. very pissed.

thanks,
the management

Bri needs our prayers. She has been sick since last Monday with abdominal pains and all the stuff that accompany them. Tuesday night we went to the ER, where they diagnosed her with gastroenteritis, which basically could be anything that makes you nauseous. They have her a couple prescriptions for the pain and nausea, but it didn't do anything to treat her symptoms. Sunday night she went back to the ER because the pain was so extreme. They admitted her and she has been there ever since. After several tests, including a CAT scan, she still has been given no definite answers. The doctors think she may have Crohn's disease. Please pray that this is not the case, as it is a chronic and painful illness with no cure. Please pray that her pain subsides and to give her physicians wisdom.


For those that have been wondering, the new job is going well-much more exciting and interesting than claims.

Reflection.

10.5 months.

744 claims.





Broken teeth, foreign objects, food poisoning, slips, trips, falls, lacerations, car
accidents, storms, falling debris, coffee spills, torn pants, raw chicken, flies, worms, and cockroaches, mouse legs, chicken feet, rat brains, and human feces. I'll stop there.

I am not going to miss any of it!

While this job has been stressful, frustrating, and sometime infuriating, I've learned some important lessons here:

1. I've learned that people are extremely grateful when you extend a helping hand or lessen a financial burden, even when you don't necessarily owe them.
2. I've learned that you can't change someone else, only the way you respond to them.

4 hours until I graduate from this chapter of my life!

After President Bush's visit to Caterpillar in Peoria yesterday, he stopped by a local diner, the Sterling Family Restaurant. Sources say he ordered a kitten platter, stating he "enjoy(s) eating them like corn on the cob and but doesn't butter them due to high cholesterol. They taste a lot like chicken." When the staff informed him that they did not serve pets but did have chicken on the menu, he said he'd prefer kitten because "the feathers make him itchy." The President then stomped out of the diner and ordered his motorcade to make a stop at the nearest pet store.

Don't become a victim...

I’d like to take this opportunity to bring to light a condition that our society would rather overlook than recognize as a real problem. Millions of Americans suffer from a plight known as Feline-Induced Sleep Deprivation, or FISD. I am a victim of this disorder.

People with FISD are often awoken several times throughout the night or much earlier than their intended hour of waking. This causes undue stress, crankiness (yes, that is a medical condition), and a feeling of angst against anything furry. The source of this disorder has been linked to the presence of felines that reside in the afflicted person’s home. Transmission is normally through direct contact (often violent) between said feline’s limbs (clawed or de-clawed digits), posterior appendage (tail), or keratin sensory organs (whiskers) and exposed portions of the victim’s thorax, neck, or face. Persons may also be affected indirectly through audible distress signals from the feline, indicating they require immediate maintenance (ex.: food, water, or retrieval of favorite toy from under the stove).

There is hope for those suffering from FISD, however. Previous treatment options included placing barriers between feline and victim during sleeping hours. However, the felines have gained the ability to increase audible distress signals to the level that will penetrate any solid material. The only treatment that is 100% effective against FISD is to provide felines with 2 lbs of food before retiring for the evening and sleeping in a full-body Kevlar suit, including aircraft carrier flight deck-rated ear muffs, and a bee keeper mask.

Do not let the felines control your life. Together, we can take a stand against FISD!

blessed.

Unfortunately, it's easy to forget how blessed I am sometimes. I tend to get caught up in all the "things" of this world and miss the bigger picture. I have a great family. I have great friends. A great church. A home. And most importantly, a God who loves me regardless of all my short-comings.

But there are moments where He pushes aside all the coincidences so I know it is His hand that is doing all the moving.

I had been praying for a new job.
I had been praying for roommates so I wouldn't have to move out to sell or rent my house.

Months had passed, slowly. Too slowly. How would I make it to the next paycheck?

And then, an interview. A job offer!
And then, a roommate, now two roommates.
And one is a "stranger" that goes to my church. She had been praying for a place to live and the cash to move in. Saturday she got called in to work on her night off and was given a $400 tip.

God blesses those who are faithful. Not that I deserve anything. I owe everything to Him. Again He has proven that while patience is my biggest struggle, it is necessary to sweeten the reward.

new record.

today I deadlifted 400 lbs. for the first time. it was on the last set of the last exercise for the day. booyah!

ha!

A man from Missouri just called me a "dirty, lousy, rotten-assed skunk" for not being able to pay his ice vs. car claim. I laughed.

TGIF.

48 hours.

Just in case you forgot, my last day of working at this glorious insurance company is a week from tomorrow.

Over 5 days, I've had the privilege of informing 13 people in Oklahoma and Missouri that I could not do anything to help them after sheets of ice several inches thick slid off the roofs of business we insure and crushed their cars.
If it were up to me, I'd pay everybody-but I'm not allowed because the law says we don't owe the claim. So I get yelled at, cursed at, etc.

This afternoon I actually stated (in a very loud voice) "Believe me, I HATE this job!" into the phone today while speaking with an outraged claimant. Just as I finished "job," I noticed my boss was walking past my cubicle, at which point he stopped, pivoted, and walked back the other direction. classic.

"Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?"

We had a stress management seminar today at work (something I could have used 9 months ago, thank you). When I walked into the boardroom, I thought, "holy crap, Will Ferrell is teaching the class!" Seriously, the dude looked JUST like him, maybe 10 years from now.
So he's going through his spiel and is very funny and animated, like a typical motivational speaker. The whole time I'm thinking about the many characters he has played.

Then towards the end he says at Christmas time at his old job he would wear his elf hat.


I just about lost it.
And then he said people always tell him he looks like Will Ferrell and the rest of the class caught on. Made my day.

I have arrived.

The other day at the gym, I came to the realization that I am now a prominent member of Peoria society. Here's how I know:

A burly man with a long, sweaty, curly mullet and a cut-off flannel shirt asked me if I'd "watch his duffel" while he went to "take a whiz."

I've never been so honored.

Now if he'll only ask me to spot him on the squat rack...

Eye Opener

I watched a very disturbing film over the last two nights, called "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price."

Now, I have been a Wal-Mart shopper for years, as there are 2 "super centers" conveniently located within a few miles of my home. I can do all my shopping for the week in one stop, and for relatively low prices. However, I never stopped to ponder why or how the same item at Wal-Mart could be more than a dollar cheaper than at Kroger or other chain stores.

I knew that the corporation had a traumatic affect on small town economics, but hey, this is Peoria. I knew that a lot of the goods were imported, but who doesn't import these days? However, the fact that they will do anything to make a dollar, including trampling their own employees into poverty, forcing them to turn to federal aid just to buy groceries or get health care for their children while working 40 hours a week, is appalling. The U.S. government is paying over $1 Billion/year just for health care for Wal-Mart employees and their families.

The film interviews former managers, supervisors, and trainers that admit being forced to erase the overtime hours of their employees so Wal-Mart wouldn't have to pay extra. They install "anti-union" surveillance packages in the stores to prevent any such organization within the ranks. This doesn't even break the surface of all the inhumane labor conditions going on overseas.

Saving a few dollars of my paycheck is not worth the moral injustices occurring across the globe. However, if people don't shop there, will these same employees find better opportunities elsewhere? Should the government do anything? Thoughts?

Roomie?

I have a room available immediately for rent! $350/month includes all utilities, cable, high speed wireless internet. The house is 1640 sq feet, 3 bedrooms, 1.5 bath, two living rooms, dining room, breakfast area, kitchen, and finished basement. Washer and dryer on site. On street parking. Storage space available in basement and garage. Room is approximately 150 sq. feet, with newly refinished hardwood floor and two closets. I share the house with a former roommate from college. I'm looking for a student/professional, 22-30 years old, non-smoker. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me!

longest post ever-i can't help it.

I had the opportunity to bear witness to the power of God in amazing ways over the past 2 days.

Sunday at “Reality” was a little different than usual. The students were greeting in the parking lot by booming bass. The lights were dimmed and psychedelic animations danced on the projector screen. On the stage was a DJ-not the “normal” worship band. After mixing some songs for the crowd to dance to, he told us a story.

His name is Jeremy Lowrance, formerly known as “Jelo.” He came from a small town and an all-to-typical divorced family. As a child he was abused. As a high school student, he was rejected by the female species on all but one attempt at a relationship. However, he was the epitome of an ugly ducking and by the time he got to college, he traded his past for new friendships.

He met some “cool” people on campus and they welcomed him with open arms. Unfortunately, being “cool” meant dabbling in just about every drug you could name and before he knew it, he had an expensive habit. He started to go to raves where he fell in love with the music. Being an entrepreneur, he began buying more drugs than he needed and selling the excess so his supply would be free. He also started DJing. And he was GOOD at both professions. He started getting a name around town. He got a national following. He was doing shows in front of 30,000 people on a regular basis in Memphis, New York, Chicago, Canada, etc. But his drug habit followed him everywhere he went. He thought that if he moved to a new place, he could leave his addiction behind and start over. But bad company corrupts good character. All the while, God was trying to call out to him. He wouldn’t listen.

In Chicago he met a woman who had heard of his reputation (not as a musician). In short, he started working with the mafia and was raking in tens of thousands of dollars for 45 minutes of work each week. His life was about to change.

On returning home from a show, he was pulled over. It was the DEA. Jeremy was arrested for international drug trafficking with a sentence of 40 years to life in federal prison. But by a loophole in the legal system, his attorney got the sentence reduced to 4 years in Leavenworth. At 23 years old, he went from an underground national celebrity to a number in the judicial system.

It was in the darkness of a prison cell that he was broken. It was here that he finally succumbed to HIM. He was befriended by a HUGE fellow prisoner who was a Christian. Jeremy was reluctant to even make eye contact with the man initially, as he feared the worst. However, he began attending the prison church services, then a bible study. Before he knew it, he was leading the church service. God worked in amazing ways in Leavenworth. He witnessed another believer pray with diligence over the injured ankle of a Muslim prisoner on the handball court and he was instantly healed. That Muslim turned to Christ in front of a crowd of his brothers. Other conversions quickly followed.

Jeremy has been out of prison for almost 2 years now. He is still a DJ, but now only plays music that honors God. He is married, with a child on the way. His story is powerful. An amazing witness!

The other is of Darin, the friend who was shot a few days before Christmas last year. He has lost his leg, but not his spirit! He came down to Peoria last night with his mom to visit. It was great to see him and to see that he has not lost his sense of humor or enthusiasm. I can’t imagine all he has been through, and yet he is strong.

Sorry this post was sooo long!

8 more days.
8 more days of a depressing profession.
8 more days of putting good people in financial bind because I’m told I have to.
8 more days of abuse from not-so-good people attempting to beat the system.
8 more days of debating whether or not to get out of bed to go to work.
8 more days of sitting in a corporate box.

8 more days until a new beginning.

Only 8 more days!

Now Cougar is sending postcards to postsecret. It's so amazing, I'm not even mad.

Who is God?

We had a riveting and heated discussion last night at our "house group" about the different perceptions of God. How do you view who God is and why?

Two different camps of thought formed in the room, one with a single member. Camp 1 believes that they know God from their personal experience with him through relationships with other Christians and the Holy Spirit working in the world today. Camp 2 believes that the one and true way to learn who God is is to read the Bible, because those words are "God-breathed."

While Camp 1 acknowledged that the Bible is a crucial part of faith and developing their view of God, it is not the most important aspect of Christian life. It's probably not often the case that a non-believer just decides to pick up the book, read, and become a believer without some other prompting. It is the personal relationships and the outpouring of love from those who already know God that introduce Him to non-believers.

If God is only contained on the pages of the Bible, does he not still exist in this world? Is he not everywhere and in everything you see? It only furthers the point that our perception of God is based on our religious and cultural background. We can't even broken the surface on the varied interpretations of the Word. Great discussion though!

Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

i read this in an email this morning. how true.

Ephesians 4: 11. It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12. to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13. until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

14. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Romans 12: 1. Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

let it be done.

Squirrel law suite.

Leslie, you should have sued Bradley when the squirrel jumped into your bookbag!

http://www.stellaawards.com/previousissue.html


It amazes me that this lady thinks an outdoor mall has a duty to warn people of the presence of squirrels.

I had a similar claim, where a woman filed a claim because she was stung by a bee. What am I supposed to do about it?

Two weeks, two days and it's so-long to the world of liability claims!

P.S. Does anyone know how to post active links? I can't get it to work.

Git 'er done.

Say hello to Tazewell County's newest Environmental Health Inspector!
Thank you all for your prayers! I got the job offer this morning. I start in 2 weeks. It was hard to tell my boss I was leaving because he's been awesome, but it's time to move on. I can't wait!

Let a sleeping Cougar lie.

This was taken just as Lassie startled Cougar from his afternoon nap to inform him that she had just seen a squirrel outside the window.



For the insult, Cougar gave her the beating of the century, tied her hind legs together with her own tail, and ate all of her food. Unlike dogs, cats DO hold grudges. forever.

Cougar, M.D.

cloudy. son is peeking.

interview went VERY well yesterday. i should hear something soon if they want me. start date would be january 29th, which is less than 2 weeks from now.

the job sounds like it would be awesome. a much needed change. out of the office 90% of the time. casual dress code. septic tank probing. i'm trying to keep from being TOO optimistic because it's making the seconds drag by here at work. oh well...tick, tock.

other things in life are more confusing and convoluted than ever. oh well. patience. clarity. peace.

Last night at small group, Alyssa informed us that the stoplight was invented before the automobile. The girls began discussing how this could be. I suggested maybe for horse traffic. Leslie then replied, "But aren't horses color blind?"


If I have to explain why this is funny, please call me.
I will come to your house and hit you on the head with a hammer.

"my wish"

I know it's cheesy to post song lyrics, but this Rascal Flatts song resonates so deeply in me that i can't help it.

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

They have the internet on computers now!

Northwoods has FINALLY put their messages onine:
http://www.nwoods.org/storyPageWithChartHTML.asp?pageID=88

Check them out!

Now I never have to miss a message

See this movie!

I watched "The Illusionist" last night. Two thumbs and a toe, way up. It is a charming tale of a peasant magician (Edward Norton)in 19th century Vienna who falls in love with a young dutchess (Jessica Biel), but the social castes tear them apart as children. They are reunited on stage one night, as the dutchess is volunteered for by her fiance, the crown prince. A curious police chief (Paul Giamatti)is first intrigued by the magician's incredible illusions, but when an unthinkable crime occurs, intrigue gives way to inquiry and the illusionist is found suspect. His illusions take on a whole new form, and capture the entire city's awe. Until finally, justice is served and the truth is found out.
The acting is top-notch, the story is captivating. If you only see 1 movie this week, see "The Illusionist"!

Pet Rules

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.

And finally,



11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

jobs (not steve)

Those that know me or peruse my thought on this blog know that I've been struggling lately with what I do for 40 hours of the week. My job is less than glamorous, but that's ok. I just miss interacting with people. And with the animals. I'm just not sure what my true calling is.
I started applying for new jobs again last tuesday. I found two here in Peoria that called for a degree in Environmental Science as a requirement. My undergrad degree is E.S., but this is the first time I've actually applied for an E.S. job. I got a call a few minutes ago to set up an interview for an Environmental Health Inspector position at the Tazewell County Health Dept. Of all the jobs I've applied for in the past year, this one has the most promise. The starting pay isn't all that much more than I'm making now, but I'm probably also going to be working part-time at Wildlife Prairie Park again. I just miss being there!
Thank you to all who have been praying diligently!

The office.

Favorite line (since Charlie hasn't blogged about last night's episode and I can't wait any longer):

While the party planning committee is planning the luau Michael demanded on the afternoon of his return from Sandals, Jamaica...

Phyllis: I've called every grocery store in town and none of them sell whole pigs.

Angela: Did you try the petting zoo?

Resolutions

Today is January 2. AKA the first day the gym will be open following New Year’s Day. AKA the single busiest gym day of the year. AKA the day that resolutionists (I invented that word) sign a one-year contract for gym membership, of which they will only use approximately 1-2 months.

It is in that spirit that I have decided to make not only 1, but several resolutions of my own. However, since I am making many, I feel it’s only good and proper that I don’t set the bar too high on any ONE goal. Therefore:

I resolve to eat less iguana in 2007.

To listen to fewer John Denver records this year than I did last year (-1).

To dine at more restaurants dressed as a panda.

To help fund a Dalmatian plantation where all the Dalmatians can roam.

To sneeze with my eyes open.

To climb to the top of the corporate ladder at work (luckily our building is only one story).

To get Cougar’s cat modeling career off the ground.

To plant a flower for every negative thought I think. Hopefully my yard doesn’t look like the poppy field from the Wizard of Oz.

To sing more.

To dance less.

To star in a Muppet movie (as a Muppet).

And finally…to retain more sanity than those I work with.

'07

Happy New Year to all! I hope it's filled with love, life, growth, and prosperity!

WhY?

Last night I got the message that someone a community had been praying for had suddenly passed away. He was the son of someone my mom works with at school in Mendota. Just over a week-and-a-half ago, Andrew was a normal, healthy 20year-old college student who had just finished finals. He had been home a few days and developed a migraine, which he had never had before. A short hospital visit was followed by violent seizures at home and resulted in him being flown to Peoria. He slipped into a coma and would only open his eyes while having a seizure. They thought he was stabilizing and then suddenly, he let go. The doctors were and are still baffled as to the cause of the illness. No one knows why. WhY?

Last night I was informed that a friend from church and softball had been up in Michigan to visit family for Christmas. His wife’s deranged ex-husband came to the house they were staying at Saturday night, with multiple firearms. He intended to confront the boyfriend of his former wife. When the home owner went outside to meet the man, he was shot in the chest on the front lawn. Our friend, Darren, tried to barricade the front door. The gunman (his former uncle), apparently fired through the door, hitting Darren twice in the femur. Once inside, the gunman allowed the women and children to leave, as well as Darren and his father, so he was rushed to the hospital. Doctors said that most people who sustain an injury of this nature to the femoral artery bleed to death, but Darren made it. The gunman then shot and killed the boyfriend of his ex-wife before killing himself when police arrived. Darren has had four surgeries so far. He is still in intensive care, on dialysis. It is unclear whether he will keep his leg. He lives and breathes sports and is an amazing multi-sport athlete. How do you cope with a tragic injury like this, not to mention the violent and senseless loss of those close to you torn away? Why do these things happen? WhY?

http://www.mlive.com/news/jacitpat/index.ssf?/base/news-19/1167064562302070.xml&coll=3

I started reading David Crowder’s new book, “Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but Nobody wants to Die,” last night. It just happened to be on top of the stack of books I intend to read next. It deals primarily with death, the resulting sadness it brings, the existence of the soul, etc. The first story David shared was of his friend Kyle Lake, who was electrocuted last October while baptizing a friend on Sunday morning in front of the congregation, including his wife and children in Waco, TX. Why would God allow this to happen? What message does this give to unbelievers…to believers? WhY?

Today I'm Thankful...

that Christmas songs are no longer on the radio.

Seriously, they're great for Christmas eve and Christmas day, but when you start playing them on the day after Thanksgiving and play nothing BUT Christmas songs until the 25th, you are crazy and annoying.

So thank you today, for playing ANYTHING but Christmas carols.

Changes

The way I see it, there are only two constants in this world-God and gravity. We lowly humans have managed to overcome the latter, but there’s no stopping God.

Last night at small group, Chris discussed the upcoming changes for Nexus and our weekly “small group” gathering. I think we are naturally resistant to change, as it comes with a touch of apprehension, stepping out of the comfort of familiarity, and a possibility of failure. But change is sometimes necessary. We could keep doing what we are doing, stay mediocre. Or we could step out in faith and hope and make a difference.

So over the next month, Nexus will transform from a weekly service at the church, to one monthly service and weekly gatherings of “house groups” to build what the church should really be-a community. Charlie will launch each series on the second Saturday of the month and the other three weeks will be spent focusing on the curriculum he writes for the house groups. Each group will meet at a church member’s home on designated night to better accommodate the busy schedules of college students. This means that our small group is no longer going to be small, but will open the doors to anyone who wants to attend.

I believe this could be awesome. Either it will be a catalyst for young adult ministry in our community, or it will fail. Regardless, we tried to spur growth and development. Onward Christian soldiers!

Christmas Card (cause i'm cheap)