sobering.

I've only been in this job for 6 weeks (5 if i discount the vacation), and I've seen a lot of eye-opening things already. Yesterday was a reminder to be thankful for what I have been blessed with and that money cannot buy happiness. I conducted my first complaint investigation yesterday afternoon. A tenant had reported that the basement of the home they were renting had filled with sewage and that the landlord would not clean it up or fix the problem. It sounded bad.
It was worse than I imagined. When we arrived, the tenant was outside of the home (approximately 150 sq. feet) with the front door open. I could smell the problem as soon as we got out of the vehicle. The tenant was not who I expected to meet either. She was only 18 and seemed well educated. She was just starting out. She welcomed me and the other inspector in and guided us down the basement stairs, a straight-shot from the front door. The basement was comprised of two small rooms, which served as the sleeping quarters, and the only bathroom. The entire basement was flooded with approx 2 inches of gray septic water and sewage. There was 4 inches of the noxious fluid standing in the shower. It had been this way for over 5 weeks and the landlord had only come and ripped out the carpet. The foam pad was still in place, though saturated. Thick black mold had begun growing on the walls. Half of their belongings were ruined.
We had no choice but to post the house as "Unfit for Human Habitation" and ask them to leave immediately for their own health and safety. This is only the third time the county has had to post a building in the past 10 years. I must be lucky.
Both of the tenants have been ill since the problem began and went to the hospital today for testing. The landlord, who would not return the tenant's calls before, finally called us today in response to a call from the director. She denies everything. The girl's mom called me today and said the tenants have no friends or family in the area and nowhere else to go-no money for a hotel, etc. All I could do is give them a name of a local law firm that helps people with low-income and suggest they call a shelter.
Lord, thank you for a mortgage payment, bills, and the means to an end. Help me to remember that I don't "need" things.

standing up.

I was grateful to spend a few minutes with Charlie to catch up last night after lifegroup with my Reality guys. While our chat focused mostly on spiritual formation and the church, it got my mind churning over night. Life has become even more hectic and busied than before. Work...serving...more work...maintenance on the house, car...laundry...cleaning...grocery shopping...gym...etc. I'm lucky if I get to eat dinner before 9pm. Then it's lights out before I know it. I'm exhausted. While I dreaded being at the last job, at least I could use the hours of boredom to delve into The Word. Now that time has been replaced-filled. I miss that time. I've made excuses and filled my only free time (between dinner and sleep) with more busy-ness. It must change. I need to pause. To listen.

I've also decided that I MUST finish my Master's thesis. I've come too far and invested too much to put it off any further. Goodbye Saturdays (Wildlife Prairie Park and Reality already have my Sundays).

And therein lies the struggle. Maybe I should have gone into the physics program and invented a time machine.

However, as Charlie reminded me, "it will pass." And as long as there is no sudden world shortage of chocolate, I think I will survive.

"The good Lord gave us mountains so we can learn how to climb."

My Day in Court.

I spent the majority of today in the Tazewell County Courthouse, pleading with a variety of judges, detectives, officers, and the State's attorney. I am an innocent man! I just needed to install radon detectors in their offices. It was kind of cool to go "behind the scenes" into the judges' chambers, evidence rooms, court rooms and bowels of the courthouse. All we have to do is flash our badges and we go right in through the metal detectors without getting "wanded." I'm big time now. Watch it.

i "heart" mud.

Today, which would have been the 1 year anniversary of my starting date at the insurance company, I did something much more enjoyable. I spent the day auditing a local well driller, which means I stood there and watched them drill a hole and made sure everything was done correctly and legally. Interesting, considering I've had exactly ZERO training on wells. However, I had plenty of spare time to read the well codes while basking in the sun. I always wondered how they drilled with a bit 100's of feet below ground and how they kept it all from collapsing. It was kind of like an episode of "Dirty Jobs"! All I know is that water came out when they were done (9 hours later) and apparently that's a good thing. It sure beats sitting behind a desk waiting for angry McDonald's customers to call! All's well that ends well!

Catching up.

Tonight after New Community I was driving home and it dawned on me that it had been a long time since I'd spoken with some of my closest friends from the past.

First I called Mandi, who I was a naturalist with at Wildlife Prairie State Park for 4 years. She is now the outreach director for the Great Lakes Science Center with a $145,000 budget and an overnight camp counselor at the Cleveland Zoo. She has got it made and is in two positions that could not be any more perfectly designed for her personality! (i'm pretty jealous).

Then I spoke with my high school best friend, Jeff, who is an aborist (tree doctor) in Chicago. We speak more frequently, so we mostly discussed Microsoft Vista (because we're nerds like that).

Then Jason, who was the third "J" along with Jeff and I for JX3 Productions (our early college years video production attempt) returned my previous call. Jason has since moved on to bigger and better things. He is definitely the most famous Mendota-an, as he now appears on TV in 160 countries around the world on a little program called "American Chopper." He is the concept artist/designer for Orange County Choppers. Between the stories of world travel (he flew to Australia for the weekend and if taking a private jet to Colorado tomorrow) and celebrities (Bill Murray, Billy Joel, etc), we shared hunting stories and talked about our girlfriends and families. It is just so awesome to me that with all the fame and fortune (which he won't admit), that Jason is still the same crazy kid I grew up with. I can't wait to get out there and meet all the guys in the shop!

It's comforting that no matter how far away your friends go, they never really leave (and I can watch Jason on Discovery Channel or TLC whenever I turn on the TV)!

Cirque du AMAZING.

Bri and I were given free tickets to last night's performance of Cirque du Soleil's "Delirium" at the Civic Center. I can't even begin to describe it except to say "wow." If I had dreams like that, I would never want to wake up! It's just crazy. If you ever have the chance to go, DO IT!!!

The best trip ever...

Well, after 6 incredible days of hunting the woods of East Texas, the boar hunters have returned to frozen Illinois. The ride down was less than spectacular. We left last Friday night to try and beat the winter storm blowing in. The storm had other plans, however. The 17-hour drive was stretched to 23.5 hours due to a maximum speed of 35mph on the interstate all the way to St. Louis! Once we arrived, we could not have asked for better weather-upper 70's and sunny every day! We thought we were going to get slammed by the huge storm system on the way home yesterday, but we drove behind it the whole way.



Our goal this year was to beat the record of 36 confirmed hog kills. We hunted HARD every day and were out until 2am two nights in a row trying to get as many pigs as possible. Despite two opportunities where a herd of pigs got up in front of us, jammed guns prevented the record from being broken (i know it sounds like an excuse, but i have the video to prove it!). We ended up with 35 pigs, 5 of which were killed with a spear (also on video).



On the last day, we were hunting "the island," which has historically produced some very large boars. When we were about 200 yards from the end of the island, a herd of approximately 20 of the long-haired beasts got up in front of my uncle and ran right at me. My dad, my uncle, and I opened up on them. I picked out the first pig and fired. It dropped from view behind a small rise along the creek. Then my gun jammed. Then the herd turned and ran right through me. I had a stampeding rapid pack of tusked demons run past me within 5 yards. When the smoke and dust cleared, 3 enormous pigs lay on the ground around me. My dad shot two trophy boars and I shot a sow that was the biggest any of the guys had ever seen. We couldn't even drag the 400-500 pounder. I'm sure Bri was excited to hear I'll now have a monster wild boar to hang on the wall!



It was an incredible trip that I will never forget! The DVD will be done in a month or so if anyone wants to see it!

It's that time again!

In 14 hours I will be departing the frigid winter of Illinois for balmy Texas in hopes of sending a herd of wild hogs to their maker. If I have internet access while I'm there, I will upload some photos along the way. Last year we bagged 34 of the nasty beasts. Can we break the record of 37 in one week?! You betcha!

my life as an EHS...

So...
It's been a crazy past 1.5 weeks. Bri is now out of the hospital and feeling much better. She was diagnosed with Crohn's, but has adjusted well because she is amazing. Now if she can only get home from Chicago with all of this crazy, blizzardy, weather.
In the midst of all this, I started my new job at the health department. So far it has been fun. There is a lot of variety to the job, so it will be hard to get bored. That also means I have a TON to learn (which is also good). A lot of it is learned by going out with other Environmental Health Specialists and observing what they do. I've accompanied them on several food inspections, a couple of home inspections, and some septic system samplings (not as bad as it sounds-just dipping a cup into the water that flows out of the tank after being treated). Traveling to the different locations really breaks up the day, so it's usually over before I know it. It really beats sitting behind a desk for 8 hours, staring at the clock! My co-workers are fun and very helpful. I can't wait to get out on my own (maybe in a few months)!

bri update

Friends,
Bri is now feeling better and will most likely be released tomorrow if she keeps improving. She has been diagnosed with Crohn's disease and is coping very well. She's a strong girl and will adapt. Thank you for all of your prayers and support!

note:

when you ask someone to pick up their relative at "the airport" and "the airport" you are referring to is not the airport in the city you live in, you must inform them that "the airport" you are referring to is 180 miles away. because when the generous person who volunteers to pick up your mother has set aside 45 minutes for the trip and is informed that they are to make a 6 hour trip to O'Hare and back instead of Peoria Int'l while on their way out the door, they will not be happy. they will be pissed. very pissed.

thanks,
the management

Bri needs our prayers. She has been sick since last Monday with abdominal pains and all the stuff that accompany them. Tuesday night we went to the ER, where they diagnosed her with gastroenteritis, which basically could be anything that makes you nauseous. They have her a couple prescriptions for the pain and nausea, but it didn't do anything to treat her symptoms. Sunday night she went back to the ER because the pain was so extreme. They admitted her and she has been there ever since. After several tests, including a CAT scan, she still has been given no definite answers. The doctors think she may have Crohn's disease. Please pray that this is not the case, as it is a chronic and painful illness with no cure. Please pray that her pain subsides and to give her physicians wisdom.


For those that have been wondering, the new job is going well-much more exciting and interesting than claims.

Reflection.

10.5 months.

744 claims.





Broken teeth, foreign objects, food poisoning, slips, trips, falls, lacerations, car
accidents, storms, falling debris, coffee spills, torn pants, raw chicken, flies, worms, and cockroaches, mouse legs, chicken feet, rat brains, and human feces. I'll stop there.

I am not going to miss any of it!

While this job has been stressful, frustrating, and sometime infuriating, I've learned some important lessons here:

1. I've learned that people are extremely grateful when you extend a helping hand or lessen a financial burden, even when you don't necessarily owe them.
2. I've learned that you can't change someone else, only the way you respond to them.

4 hours until I graduate from this chapter of my life!

After President Bush's visit to Caterpillar in Peoria yesterday, he stopped by a local diner, the Sterling Family Restaurant. Sources say he ordered a kitten platter, stating he "enjoy(s) eating them like corn on the cob and but doesn't butter them due to high cholesterol. They taste a lot like chicken." When the staff informed him that they did not serve pets but did have chicken on the menu, he said he'd prefer kitten because "the feathers make him itchy." The President then stomped out of the diner and ordered his motorcade to make a stop at the nearest pet store.

Don't become a victim...

I’d like to take this opportunity to bring to light a condition that our society would rather overlook than recognize as a real problem. Millions of Americans suffer from a plight known as Feline-Induced Sleep Deprivation, or FISD. I am a victim of this disorder.

People with FISD are often awoken several times throughout the night or much earlier than their intended hour of waking. This causes undue stress, crankiness (yes, that is a medical condition), and a feeling of angst against anything furry. The source of this disorder has been linked to the presence of felines that reside in the afflicted person’s home. Transmission is normally through direct contact (often violent) between said feline’s limbs (clawed or de-clawed digits), posterior appendage (tail), or keratin sensory organs (whiskers) and exposed portions of the victim’s thorax, neck, or face. Persons may also be affected indirectly through audible distress signals from the feline, indicating they require immediate maintenance (ex.: food, water, or retrieval of favorite toy from under the stove).

There is hope for those suffering from FISD, however. Previous treatment options included placing barriers between feline and victim during sleeping hours. However, the felines have gained the ability to increase audible distress signals to the level that will penetrate any solid material. The only treatment that is 100% effective against FISD is to provide felines with 2 lbs of food before retiring for the evening and sleeping in a full-body Kevlar suit, including aircraft carrier flight deck-rated ear muffs, and a bee keeper mask.

Do not let the felines control your life. Together, we can take a stand against FISD!

blessed.

Unfortunately, it's easy to forget how blessed I am sometimes. I tend to get caught up in all the "things" of this world and miss the bigger picture. I have a great family. I have great friends. A great church. A home. And most importantly, a God who loves me regardless of all my short-comings.

But there are moments where He pushes aside all the coincidences so I know it is His hand that is doing all the moving.

I had been praying for a new job.
I had been praying for roommates so I wouldn't have to move out to sell or rent my house.

Months had passed, slowly. Too slowly. How would I make it to the next paycheck?

And then, an interview. A job offer!
And then, a roommate, now two roommates.
And one is a "stranger" that goes to my church. She had been praying for a place to live and the cash to move in. Saturday she got called in to work on her night off and was given a $400 tip.

God blesses those who are faithful. Not that I deserve anything. I owe everything to Him. Again He has proven that while patience is my biggest struggle, it is necessary to sweeten the reward.

new record.

today I deadlifted 400 lbs. for the first time. it was on the last set of the last exercise for the day. booyah!

ha!

A man from Missouri just called me a "dirty, lousy, rotten-assed skunk" for not being able to pay his ice vs. car claim. I laughed.

TGIF.

48 hours.

Just in case you forgot, my last day of working at this glorious insurance company is a week from tomorrow.

Over 5 days, I've had the privilege of informing 13 people in Oklahoma and Missouri that I could not do anything to help them after sheets of ice several inches thick slid off the roofs of business we insure and crushed their cars.
If it were up to me, I'd pay everybody-but I'm not allowed because the law says we don't owe the claim. So I get yelled at, cursed at, etc.

This afternoon I actually stated (in a very loud voice) "Believe me, I HATE this job!" into the phone today while speaking with an outraged claimant. Just as I finished "job," I noticed my boss was walking past my cubicle, at which point he stopped, pivoted, and walked back the other direction. classic.

"Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?"

We had a stress management seminar today at work (something I could have used 9 months ago, thank you). When I walked into the boardroom, I thought, "holy crap, Will Ferrell is teaching the class!" Seriously, the dude looked JUST like him, maybe 10 years from now.
So he's going through his spiel and is very funny and animated, like a typical motivational speaker. The whole time I'm thinking about the many characters he has played.

Then towards the end he says at Christmas time at his old job he would wear his elf hat.


I just about lost it.
And then he said people always tell him he looks like Will Ferrell and the rest of the class caught on. Made my day.

I have arrived.

The other day at the gym, I came to the realization that I am now a prominent member of Peoria society. Here's how I know:

A burly man with a long, sweaty, curly mullet and a cut-off flannel shirt asked me if I'd "watch his duffel" while he went to "take a whiz."

I've never been so honored.

Now if he'll only ask me to spot him on the squat rack...

Eye Opener

I watched a very disturbing film over the last two nights, called "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price."

Now, I have been a Wal-Mart shopper for years, as there are 2 "super centers" conveniently located within a few miles of my home. I can do all my shopping for the week in one stop, and for relatively low prices. However, I never stopped to ponder why or how the same item at Wal-Mart could be more than a dollar cheaper than at Kroger or other chain stores.

I knew that the corporation had a traumatic affect on small town economics, but hey, this is Peoria. I knew that a lot of the goods were imported, but who doesn't import these days? However, the fact that they will do anything to make a dollar, including trampling their own employees into poverty, forcing them to turn to federal aid just to buy groceries or get health care for their children while working 40 hours a week, is appalling. The U.S. government is paying over $1 Billion/year just for health care for Wal-Mart employees and their families.

The film interviews former managers, supervisors, and trainers that admit being forced to erase the overtime hours of their employees so Wal-Mart wouldn't have to pay extra. They install "anti-union" surveillance packages in the stores to prevent any such organization within the ranks. This doesn't even break the surface of all the inhumane labor conditions going on overseas.

Saving a few dollars of my paycheck is not worth the moral injustices occurring across the globe. However, if people don't shop there, will these same employees find better opportunities elsewhere? Should the government do anything? Thoughts?

Roomie?

I have a room available immediately for rent! $350/month includes all utilities, cable, high speed wireless internet. The house is 1640 sq feet, 3 bedrooms, 1.5 bath, two living rooms, dining room, breakfast area, kitchen, and finished basement. Washer and dryer on site. On street parking. Storage space available in basement and garage. Room is approximately 150 sq. feet, with newly refinished hardwood floor and two closets. I share the house with a former roommate from college. I'm looking for a student/professional, 22-30 years old, non-smoker. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me!

longest post ever-i can't help it.

I had the opportunity to bear witness to the power of God in amazing ways over the past 2 days.

Sunday at “Reality” was a little different than usual. The students were greeting in the parking lot by booming bass. The lights were dimmed and psychedelic animations danced on the projector screen. On the stage was a DJ-not the “normal” worship band. After mixing some songs for the crowd to dance to, he told us a story.

His name is Jeremy Lowrance, formerly known as “Jelo.” He came from a small town and an all-to-typical divorced family. As a child he was abused. As a high school student, he was rejected by the female species on all but one attempt at a relationship. However, he was the epitome of an ugly ducking and by the time he got to college, he traded his past for new friendships.

He met some “cool” people on campus and they welcomed him with open arms. Unfortunately, being “cool” meant dabbling in just about every drug you could name and before he knew it, he had an expensive habit. He started to go to raves where he fell in love with the music. Being an entrepreneur, he began buying more drugs than he needed and selling the excess so his supply would be free. He also started DJing. And he was GOOD at both professions. He started getting a name around town. He got a national following. He was doing shows in front of 30,000 people on a regular basis in Memphis, New York, Chicago, Canada, etc. But his drug habit followed him everywhere he went. He thought that if he moved to a new place, he could leave his addiction behind and start over. But bad company corrupts good character. All the while, God was trying to call out to him. He wouldn’t listen.

In Chicago he met a woman who had heard of his reputation (not as a musician). In short, he started working with the mafia and was raking in tens of thousands of dollars for 45 minutes of work each week. His life was about to change.

On returning home from a show, he was pulled over. It was the DEA. Jeremy was arrested for international drug trafficking with a sentence of 40 years to life in federal prison. But by a loophole in the legal system, his attorney got the sentence reduced to 4 years in Leavenworth. At 23 years old, he went from an underground national celebrity to a number in the judicial system.

It was in the darkness of a prison cell that he was broken. It was here that he finally succumbed to HIM. He was befriended by a HUGE fellow prisoner who was a Christian. Jeremy was reluctant to even make eye contact with the man initially, as he feared the worst. However, he began attending the prison church services, then a bible study. Before he knew it, he was leading the church service. God worked in amazing ways in Leavenworth. He witnessed another believer pray with diligence over the injured ankle of a Muslim prisoner on the handball court and he was instantly healed. That Muslim turned to Christ in front of a crowd of his brothers. Other conversions quickly followed.

Jeremy has been out of prison for almost 2 years now. He is still a DJ, but now only plays music that honors God. He is married, with a child on the way. His story is powerful. An amazing witness!

The other is of Darin, the friend who was shot a few days before Christmas last year. He has lost his leg, but not his spirit! He came down to Peoria last night with his mom to visit. It was great to see him and to see that he has not lost his sense of humor or enthusiasm. I can’t imagine all he has been through, and yet he is strong.

Sorry this post was sooo long!

8 more days.
8 more days of a depressing profession.
8 more days of putting good people in financial bind because I’m told I have to.
8 more days of abuse from not-so-good people attempting to beat the system.
8 more days of debating whether or not to get out of bed to go to work.
8 more days of sitting in a corporate box.

8 more days until a new beginning.

Only 8 more days!

Now Cougar is sending postcards to postsecret. It's so amazing, I'm not even mad.

Who is God?

We had a riveting and heated discussion last night at our "house group" about the different perceptions of God. How do you view who God is and why?

Two different camps of thought formed in the room, one with a single member. Camp 1 believes that they know God from their personal experience with him through relationships with other Christians and the Holy Spirit working in the world today. Camp 2 believes that the one and true way to learn who God is is to read the Bible, because those words are "God-breathed."

While Camp 1 acknowledged that the Bible is a crucial part of faith and developing their view of God, it is not the most important aspect of Christian life. It's probably not often the case that a non-believer just decides to pick up the book, read, and become a believer without some other prompting. It is the personal relationships and the outpouring of love from those who already know God that introduce Him to non-believers.

If God is only contained on the pages of the Bible, does he not still exist in this world? Is he not everywhere and in everything you see? It only furthers the point that our perception of God is based on our religious and cultural background. We can't even broken the surface on the varied interpretations of the Word. Great discussion though!

Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

i read this in an email this morning. how true.

Ephesians 4: 11. It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12. to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13. until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

14. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Romans 12: 1. Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

let it be done.

Squirrel law suite.

Leslie, you should have sued Bradley when the squirrel jumped into your bookbag!

http://www.stellaawards.com/previousissue.html


It amazes me that this lady thinks an outdoor mall has a duty to warn people of the presence of squirrels.

I had a similar claim, where a woman filed a claim because she was stung by a bee. What am I supposed to do about it?

Two weeks, two days and it's so-long to the world of liability claims!

P.S. Does anyone know how to post active links? I can't get it to work.

Git 'er done.

Say hello to Tazewell County's newest Environmental Health Inspector!
Thank you all for your prayers! I got the job offer this morning. I start in 2 weeks. It was hard to tell my boss I was leaving because he's been awesome, but it's time to move on. I can't wait!

Let a sleeping Cougar lie.

This was taken just as Lassie startled Cougar from his afternoon nap to inform him that she had just seen a squirrel outside the window.



For the insult, Cougar gave her the beating of the century, tied her hind legs together with her own tail, and ate all of her food. Unlike dogs, cats DO hold grudges. forever.

Cougar, M.D.

cloudy. son is peeking.

interview went VERY well yesterday. i should hear something soon if they want me. start date would be january 29th, which is less than 2 weeks from now.

the job sounds like it would be awesome. a much needed change. out of the office 90% of the time. casual dress code. septic tank probing. i'm trying to keep from being TOO optimistic because it's making the seconds drag by here at work. oh well...tick, tock.

other things in life are more confusing and convoluted than ever. oh well. patience. clarity. peace.

Last night at small group, Alyssa informed us that the stoplight was invented before the automobile. The girls began discussing how this could be. I suggested maybe for horse traffic. Leslie then replied, "But aren't horses color blind?"


If I have to explain why this is funny, please call me.
I will come to your house and hit you on the head with a hammer.

"my wish"

I know it's cheesy to post song lyrics, but this Rascal Flatts song resonates so deeply in me that i can't help it.

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

They have the internet on computers now!

Northwoods has FINALLY put their messages onine:
http://www.nwoods.org/storyPageWithChartHTML.asp?pageID=88

Check them out!

Now I never have to miss a message

See this movie!

I watched "The Illusionist" last night. Two thumbs and a toe, way up. It is a charming tale of a peasant magician (Edward Norton)in 19th century Vienna who falls in love with a young dutchess (Jessica Biel), but the social castes tear them apart as children. They are reunited on stage one night, as the dutchess is volunteered for by her fiance, the crown prince. A curious police chief (Paul Giamatti)is first intrigued by the magician's incredible illusions, but when an unthinkable crime occurs, intrigue gives way to inquiry and the illusionist is found suspect. His illusions take on a whole new form, and capture the entire city's awe. Until finally, justice is served and the truth is found out.
The acting is top-notch, the story is captivating. If you only see 1 movie this week, see "The Illusionist"!

Pet Rules

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.

And finally,



11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

jobs (not steve)

Those that know me or peruse my thought on this blog know that I've been struggling lately with what I do for 40 hours of the week. My job is less than glamorous, but that's ok. I just miss interacting with people. And with the animals. I'm just not sure what my true calling is.
I started applying for new jobs again last tuesday. I found two here in Peoria that called for a degree in Environmental Science as a requirement. My undergrad degree is E.S., but this is the first time I've actually applied for an E.S. job. I got a call a few minutes ago to set up an interview for an Environmental Health Inspector position at the Tazewell County Health Dept. Of all the jobs I've applied for in the past year, this one has the most promise. The starting pay isn't all that much more than I'm making now, but I'm probably also going to be working part-time at Wildlife Prairie Park again. I just miss being there!
Thank you to all who have been praying diligently!

The office.

Favorite line (since Charlie hasn't blogged about last night's episode and I can't wait any longer):

While the party planning committee is planning the luau Michael demanded on the afternoon of his return from Sandals, Jamaica...

Phyllis: I've called every grocery store in town and none of them sell whole pigs.

Angela: Did you try the petting zoo?

Resolutions

Today is January 2. AKA the first day the gym will be open following New Year’s Day. AKA the single busiest gym day of the year. AKA the day that resolutionists (I invented that word) sign a one-year contract for gym membership, of which they will only use approximately 1-2 months.

It is in that spirit that I have decided to make not only 1, but several resolutions of my own. However, since I am making many, I feel it’s only good and proper that I don’t set the bar too high on any ONE goal. Therefore:

I resolve to eat less iguana in 2007.

To listen to fewer John Denver records this year than I did last year (-1).

To dine at more restaurants dressed as a panda.

To help fund a Dalmatian plantation where all the Dalmatians can roam.

To sneeze with my eyes open.

To climb to the top of the corporate ladder at work (luckily our building is only one story).

To get Cougar’s cat modeling career off the ground.

To plant a flower for every negative thought I think. Hopefully my yard doesn’t look like the poppy field from the Wizard of Oz.

To sing more.

To dance less.

To star in a Muppet movie (as a Muppet).

And finally…to retain more sanity than those I work with.

'07

Happy New Year to all! I hope it's filled with love, life, growth, and prosperity!

WhY?

Last night I got the message that someone a community had been praying for had suddenly passed away. He was the son of someone my mom works with at school in Mendota. Just over a week-and-a-half ago, Andrew was a normal, healthy 20year-old college student who had just finished finals. He had been home a few days and developed a migraine, which he had never had before. A short hospital visit was followed by violent seizures at home and resulted in him being flown to Peoria. He slipped into a coma and would only open his eyes while having a seizure. They thought he was stabilizing and then suddenly, he let go. The doctors were and are still baffled as to the cause of the illness. No one knows why. WhY?

Last night I was informed that a friend from church and softball had been up in Michigan to visit family for Christmas. His wife’s deranged ex-husband came to the house they were staying at Saturday night, with multiple firearms. He intended to confront the boyfriend of his former wife. When the home owner went outside to meet the man, he was shot in the chest on the front lawn. Our friend, Darren, tried to barricade the front door. The gunman (his former uncle), apparently fired through the door, hitting Darren twice in the femur. Once inside, the gunman allowed the women and children to leave, as well as Darren and his father, so he was rushed to the hospital. Doctors said that most people who sustain an injury of this nature to the femoral artery bleed to death, but Darren made it. The gunman then shot and killed the boyfriend of his ex-wife before killing himself when police arrived. Darren has had four surgeries so far. He is still in intensive care, on dialysis. It is unclear whether he will keep his leg. He lives and breathes sports and is an amazing multi-sport athlete. How do you cope with a tragic injury like this, not to mention the violent and senseless loss of those close to you torn away? Why do these things happen? WhY?

http://www.mlive.com/news/jacitpat/index.ssf?/base/news-19/1167064562302070.xml&coll=3

I started reading David Crowder’s new book, “Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but Nobody wants to Die,” last night. It just happened to be on top of the stack of books I intend to read next. It deals primarily with death, the resulting sadness it brings, the existence of the soul, etc. The first story David shared was of his friend Kyle Lake, who was electrocuted last October while baptizing a friend on Sunday morning in front of the congregation, including his wife and children in Waco, TX. Why would God allow this to happen? What message does this give to unbelievers…to believers? WhY?

Today I'm Thankful...

that Christmas songs are no longer on the radio.

Seriously, they're great for Christmas eve and Christmas day, but when you start playing them on the day after Thanksgiving and play nothing BUT Christmas songs until the 25th, you are crazy and annoying.

So thank you today, for playing ANYTHING but Christmas carols.

Changes

The way I see it, there are only two constants in this world-God and gravity. We lowly humans have managed to overcome the latter, but there’s no stopping God.

Last night at small group, Chris discussed the upcoming changes for Nexus and our weekly “small group” gathering. I think we are naturally resistant to change, as it comes with a touch of apprehension, stepping out of the comfort of familiarity, and a possibility of failure. But change is sometimes necessary. We could keep doing what we are doing, stay mediocre. Or we could step out in faith and hope and make a difference.

So over the next month, Nexus will transform from a weekly service at the church, to one monthly service and weekly gatherings of “house groups” to build what the church should really be-a community. Charlie will launch each series on the second Saturday of the month and the other three weeks will be spent focusing on the curriculum he writes for the house groups. Each group will meet at a church member’s home on designated night to better accommodate the busy schedules of college students. This means that our small group is no longer going to be small, but will open the doors to anyone who wants to attend.

I believe this could be awesome. Either it will be a catalyst for young adult ministry in our community, or it will fail. Regardless, we tried to spur growth and development. Onward Christian soldiers!

Christmas Card (cause i'm cheap)

The Year in Pictures

Ok, so it's not exactly a whole year, but I'm bored and at work and this is what I could come up with.

Texas Wild Boar Hunting in March. 13 pigs in one afternoon.
Packing more firepower than the PLO. The Yellow House, purchased in September. I need to post the before-and-after pics. Amazing.
The Georgia Aquarium in October for the Catalyst Conference.
Me and Bri at the Converge Conference in Peoria. Ain't she adorable?

small THINGS.

Why is it that the little annoyances in life all seem to come at you at once, usually during a fair-to-good day?

Example: Yesterday was a normal day at work (plus all the cookies, candies, nuts, etc. that come in to the department in a constant stream from the mail room). Not too busy, not too many "crazies" on the phone.

I was to meet with my high school small group at Starbucks at 7pm by the gym. I'd have plenty of time to go work out, shower, grab a protein shake or some food before the meeting.

And so it began.
The gym is 5.99 miles from work (thank you, mapquest). Normally it takes 15 minutes to get there at 4:30. Yesterday it took 52. No construction, no accidents, no explanation. Traffic was at a standstill for no apparent reason. Frustration is not the proper word.

So I'm already way behind. I got through just over half of my workout before I had to hit the showers. After getting dressed, I couldn't find my wallet. Not in my pocket, not in my coat, not in my car. I didn't panic because I’ve left it on my desk at work before. But now I had no method of purchasing nourishment.

On to Starbucks to meet with the guys. We normally meet at Northwoods, but there was no service due to the upcoming Christmas program. One guy out of four showed up. We hung out anyway and some other kids from Dunlap happened stop in. Oh, well.

This morning, Cougar meowed at me approximately 63 times while I was getting dressed because he was hungry. I fed him. He didn't like the food and didn't eat.

Today is casual day. They didn't make an announcement or send an email. Apparently no one told me.

All simple things. Life is funny. As soon as life isn't looking, I'm going to kick it in the...

Truth.

On Sunday, Eric concluded the series on truth at Reality (the high school ministry). It amazes me that people can have such varied definitions of what “truth” is.
Can simply believing in something make it true? Can the truth change with time? Can two people have conflicting definitions of what is true and both be correct? Is there an ultimate truth? Where does it come from?

True=that which is real.

Simply believing in something does not make it real (i.e. Sorry kiddies, but just because you believe a 250 pound elderly bearded man is going to squeeze down your chimney this weekend, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen).

There is only one truth; however people perceive and interpret it relative to their language, culture, etc. Therefore, disagreements about what is true from one person to the next can occur. Whose angle on the truth is correct?

What we perceive as the truth shapes our beliefs, values, and ultimately, our actions. I think that is why our generation seeks reality so much. We want what is real to be revealed.

Any religious person should testify that the ultimate truth comes from God and Christians know that it was and is constantly revealed by His son.

You don’t have to simply believe in it, you can sense it, see it in others, live it out. In a world shaped and steered by what a few influential individuals believe or mold evidence for (think philosophers, evolutionists, dictators, etc), we need constant reminders that the ultimate truth trumps all.

GCIC Christmas Party.

Friday night was the company Christmas Party at the Par-a-dice Hotel in East Peoria. The food was great, but the highlight of my evening was the following:


Picture this lady. She is the DJ's wife.

Now picture her lip-synching, "Don't you wish your girlfriend was HOT like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a FREAK like me?"

No further explanation necessary.

P.S. This actually happened.

KEEP PRAYING...

for Randy!
http://fogparty.blogs.com/fogparty/

I got a card from the department this morning and my boss wrote "Happy Birthday Dwight" in it.

bonus: We get out at 3pm today for our 7pm Christmas party. I am not going to question it.

I just hope we all get bathrobes as a gift. That would be MUCH better than cash.

Movie Review

I watched an intriguing movie last night: “Devil’s Playground.” It focuses on that critical period of life between 16-20 something, when children leave the protection and watchful eye of the family and explore the world in shocking ways. Sounds like typical America right? However, this film has a twist…the fledglings are all Amish.
The featured community is located in rural Indiana, and is inundated with the typical horse-and-buggies, one-room school houses, horse-drawn plows, plain clothing, etc. Much is revealed about the beliefs, family structure, and social network of our Anabaptist neighbors.
When teenagers in the Amish community turn 16, they are expected to venture out into the “english” world for a period called “rumspringa.” They are free to buy and drive vehicles, get jobs, consume alcohol and drugs, date, dress “english,” listen to music, watch TV, etc. Rumspringa parties would put any college town party to shame! They often draw thousands of Amish kids in from across the country.
This completely undermines the Amish’s main focus: to remain removed from the world in order to stay closer to God. The family comes second, only to God. They believe that relying on modern conveniences (like electricity or machinery) would take the focus away from family cooperation. However, since following Christ is a decision that only an adult can make, they put it in the hands of these kids. Come back to the church and leave the world behind, or be lost.
While there is a lot of pressure on the teens to join the Amish church, get baptized and settle down, 10% choose to not return to the Amish lifestyle. Those that do not return home may still have limited contact with their families, while those that join the church, but then decide to leave are banned forever. This film was certainly eye-opening, and I recommend it if you can tolerate some harsh language.

life is like...

It's that time of year when attorneys bombard their clients with boxes, baskets, and buckets of chocolates, candies, and cakes.

There is a table about 11.7 feet from my desk where the secretaries lay all the day's bounty out. Every time I get up to grab something from the printer, I can't help but graze on the cornicopia of carb-laden delights.
Which gets me thinking: who is the mad candy-maker-guy who sits in his sugar lair thinking, "what crazy thing can I put in the middle of this chocolate mass?"

Seriously, I've had 4 or 5 pieces of chocolate from a mixed box of whatevers this morning, and I have no idea what was in the middle. It could have been dog treats and ear wax for all I know.

It was delicious.

sometimes life kicks you in the gut, steals your last breath, and leaves you standing in shock-the choas of the world drowned out by the words you dread to hear...

please read the post "the email" on Randy's blog.

Pray for God to place his hands on him.
To heal him completely.
This world needs him.
He helped save me.

A typical day in the life of JRG.

Finances have been really tight since moving into the new house (empty room=empty pockets), so I was excited and hopeful for the prospect of a new roommate. Kyle, Jess, and I had joked around Wednesday night about what I would do if the new guy was really weird or old. I assured them he seemed “cool” from our emailing back and forth (whatever that means).

The prospect was to meet me at the house at 5pm yesterday, which required me to cancel my gym appointment. If you know me, this is a BIG deal. As of 5:40, he still didn’t show. I was a wee bit miffed, but was still confident he’d show up.

He called a few minutes later to say he dropped the transmission in his car and had to go pick up a rental, but would be there shortly. Eureka!

The doorbell rings. I answer.

The gentleman on the doorstep was not exactly what I had pictured as the person at the other end of our email conversation. I’d say he was closer to 50 than 40 years old. He was very nice and polite and we had a wonderful conversation about cats and engineering software. But I don’t think it would have made for a comfortable housing situation, with my younger sister living upstairs.

I had to inform him of our collective decision this morning.
Back to the drawing board!

ok, seriously, enough is enough.

there are 12 claims in my inbox.

i just got an email that we are now going to insure 600 Little Ceasar's across the country.

they hired one new adjuster-who probably won't start handling any claims for 2-3 weeks.

the senior adjusters are even complaining there are too many claims and too few adjusters.

i'm loosing it.

why do i have to pay for some stupid kid who hurt himself skateboarding on church property?

why must i tolerate being yelled at for 20 minutes by some guy who spilled tea into his truck cd player?

why does every other meal served at mcdonald's contain a hard object that breaks someone's last remaining tooth?

why are people such terrible drivers?

why am i working here?

What is it about the weather?

Totally random thought as a precursor to coffee:

Have you ever wondered how or why the weather affects our moods? Why is it that when it's hot and muggy, the crime rate increases? Why do cloudy or rainy days make us depressed? Warm spring days make us happy and crisp autumn air refreshes us. I don't have an answer, but I wonder if there is something embedded in our psyche that sets the tone of our day simply by looking out the window in the morning.

What if we lived in a world with artificial environments? If the concrete jungles gave way to our entire civilization living in a bubble. It could happen-I heard on the news just yesterday that NASA wants to establish the first base camp on the moon. How then would the overall mood of society be affected by constant temperature, humidity, weather, etc.?

Today.

I received 6 new claims this morning before 10:30am. 7 is the record for the most received in a day. We'll see if it's broken this afternoon. argh.

On a lighter and brighter note, after not receiving a single response to my classified adds on myspace and facebook about my available room (and being unable to stretch my meager earnings to pay the monthly bills and mortgage), I posted it on www.craigslist.com yesterday morning. I had 4 inquiries this morning and am meeting a potential renter tomorrow after work! I was more than a little hesitant to opening my home to the public, but this guy's a project engineer downtown, so I think it's safe.

i hope he likes cougars.

T4-your claim has been TERMINATED!

My old roomie sent this to me this morning. AWESOME!

2nd season.

It’s back to reality after a long weekend (4 cold, snowy days) of deer hunting. I shot some more great video for this year’s DVD. Thursday I sat in the “War Wagon” with my dad and uncle all day because it was too frigid to sit in a tree for more than an hour. Pictures of this heated, tactical monstrosity are soon to follow. My uncle Dave missed two bucks that afternoon, both of which are on video.

Friday we were snowed in, along with the rest of the state of Illinois. We managed to crawl out of camp around 2:30pm and wallow through the 18” of snow to our stands. All I saw was a coyote.

Saturday the deer were sitting tight after the blizzard. There were lots of tracks crossing the open fields-evidence of their nighttime travels and feeding. We sat in the wagon again all day and only saw one deer, a nice 8-point.

Sunday morning broke the monotony. I had only been in the tree about 45 minutes-an hour (which is a long time when it’s 4 degrees out), when I spotted 4 deer working their way toward me through the forest. It turned out to be a group of does. I had two tags, so I decided to take one or two. I fired at the first animal, but it didn’t react in a manner to suggest it had just been shot at. All four of them just stood there. After a quick decision, I fired at the second deer, which ran a few steps and then started walking slowly again. I fired a third shot, which brought her down.

About 30 minutes later, my uncle shot a doe. My dad got one 45 minutes after that. And finally, another kid that hunts with us shot a doe later in the morning. So in all four frigid days of second season, all the action occurred in approximately 3 hours. The freezers are full, so I am happy!

(I’ll post some pictures soon)

Methodists (Adapted from an essay by Garrison Keillor)

We make fun of Methodists for their blandness, their excessive

calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese.

But nobody sings like them.

If you were to ask an audience in New York City , a relatively Methodistless place, to sing along on the chorus of "Michael Row the Boat Ashore," they will look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. But if you do this among Methodists, they'd smile and row that boat ashore...and up on the beach...and down the road!

Many Methodists are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony, a talent that comes
from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person's rib cage. It's natural for Methodists to sing in harmony. We are too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling moment. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.

I do believe this: People, these Methodists, who love to sing in four-part harmony are the sort of people you could call up when you're in deep distress. If you are dying, they will comfort you. If you are lonely, they'll talk to you. And if you are hungry, they'll give you tuna salad!

Methodists believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.

Methodists like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.

Methodists believe their pastors will visit them in thehospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.

Methodists usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins.

Methodists believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.

Methodists feel that applauding for their children's choirs would make the kids too proud and conceited.

Methodists think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.

Methodists drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.

Methodists feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.

Methodists are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.

Methodists still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and think that peas in a tuna noodle casserole adds too much color.

Methodists believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.

You know you are a Methodist when: It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service.

You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can.

Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee.

When you watch a Star Wars movie and they say, "May the Force be with you," and you respond, "and also with you."

And lastly, it takes ten minutes to say good-bye!

History Repeats Itself.

I just got an email from the girl who followed in my small footsteps at Bradley. She came to Bradley for grad school and studied under the same professor for her master’s degree in biology. And she did a similar hormone study, but on wolves instead of deer.

She emailed me because she did not pass her first attempt at the oral exam, which must be completed before graduation. It is an accumulation of all knowledge a biology student should have acquired through undergrad and grad studies. It’s basically a panel of 3 professors grilling you on anything and everything biology for 4 hours. I, fortunately, got through the ordeal only struggling with 3 or 4 questions. The last question was a stumbling block for me and apparently for her as well.

The question is: how would you respond to someone who believes in creation and not evolution?

I distinctly remember the moment they asked me this. How could they? What bearing did this have on a master’s degree for studying deer poop?

I responded that “current scientific evidence can support the theory of evolution,” as I believe in intelligent design. This concept is that an intelligent being (God) created life and had a hand in it’s development along the way. Microevolution does occur through natural selection, but fish don’t become giraffes, no matter how many millions of years are in between. If humans evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?

Apparently, that is the wrong answer.

My professor, who I had looked up to and respected for 6 years, said that you can NOT “believe” in science. You either “agree or disagree.” “Creation is based only on belief in something that cannot be proved.”

This idea turned my world upside down. But it has only fueled my desire to learn more. And what I have discovered is that it takes much more FAITH to BELIEVE in the claims and theories of evolution, which have holes in them big enough for a galaxy to pass through, than to accept what biological, geological, and archeological science has revealed that lends support to what is written in the bible. The “scientific” community constantly accuses those that believe in creation as being closed-minded. And they are the ones that are unwilling to look at the evidence on the table! It is for this reason that I have lost “faith” in their “science.” How sad that those designated to educate others would have them sacrifice science-based beliefs to support their blind-eyed, hypothetical theories.

The Injury

My boss and I have a sarcastic Michael-Dwight relationship. If you haven’t seen “The Office,” you have not tasted true jubilation. Michael is the moronic, self-absorbed Regional Manager with no tact, but is a self-proclaimed comic and improv actor. Dwight is the Assistant “to the” Regional Manager who would do anything to impress Michael. He’s overdramatic and over-the-top ALL the time. While my boss is not Michael-esque at all, there have been a few situations here that have been so similar, it’s scary.

For instance, there was time that he called me into the conference room, closed the door and asked me to have a seat. He then said, “Radio Shack fires people over email, but I have the dignity to do it in person.” He was kidding. He told me I was “awesome.”

Whenever I make a helpful suggestion that would increase efficiency in our claims-handling process, he responds, “Thanks, Dwight,” and kiddingly dismisses it. Michael does this all the time because it wasn’t his idea.

Yesterday took the cake though. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed he had parked right next to the front door in the handicapped spot. In the next moment I saw him hobbling to the door on crutches. First thought: He cooked his foot in a Foreman Grill while making attempting to “wake up to the smell of crackling bacon.” I seriously laughed out loud in my car.
However, ‘twas not so. When I saw his foot was in a cast and not bubble wrap and packaging tape, I figured it was more serious. It turns out he fell off a ladder and broke one foot and bruised the other one. He was pretty grumpy about it so I waited until this afternoon to tell him what I assumed had happened. I asked him if he’d like some chocolate pudding.

I’m just glad he didn’t fall between the toilet and the bathroom wall and yell for help.

Thanksgiving Penguin.

I was staring at my wall today wondering why it was that the turkey has become a national target for one day of the year. I'm sure we were all taught in grade school that the Wampanoag Indians and the Pilgrims shared a feast and turkey was the main course. I wonder if Indians fried turkeys? Any way, I decided to delve into this poultry-persecuting holiday to unearth the truth.

The first Thanksgiving was celebrated in 1621 to commemorate the Pilgrim's harvest after a harsh winter. It turns out that a letter written by pilgrim, Edward Winslow, notes that the Governor William Bradford sent out 4 men out to gather food for a feast. They came back with "fowl" (presumably ducks, geese, and turkeys, which were common in the area). There is no written history of turkeys actually being served at the first Thanksgiving- it is just speculation.

So what if they actually ate something different. What if they had crow, sparrow, or woodpecker? Maybe peacock, blue jay, and owl? My point is (if I have one) that if 265 million turkeys are meeting their maker in the name of Thanksgiving each year, shouldn't we be sure it isn't the pigeon we're after?! I'm just saying the streets would be a cleaner place.

no catchy title today.

I saw this on post secret and thought it was funny.

First Season.

It was an exciting weekend!
I shot 30-40 deer.

with my camera.

0 with a gun.

I did see one monster buck, but I didn't have a shot at him. Maybe next season...9 days away.

The video from this year is going to be sweet. I got some great footage!

21 hours and counting...

At this time tomorrow I will be sitting in a tree (I guess it's better than hanging from one).

Deer Season '06, here I come!

I've now been at work 16 minutes. I'll try to hold out another 44 before leaving, "sick." I have a ton of stuff to do at the house before I pack up and head to camp this afternoon.

If possible, I'll update over the weekend. Catch ya on the flip side!

True.

I got the following in an email this morning. The highlighted points are all too sadly, my reality.

YOU MIGHT BE IN THE INSURANCE INDUSTRY IF.....
1. You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for 3 different managers.
2. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
3. When someone asks you what you do for a living, you lie.
4. You get really excited about a 2% pay increase.
5. Your biggest loss from a systems crash is that you lose your best jokes.
6. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
7. It's dark on your drive to and from work.
8. Fun is when "claims" are assigned to someone else.
9. Communication is something your "group" is having problems with.
10. You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.
11. Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
12. Art involves a white board.
13. All real work is done prior to 9:00 am and after 5:00 PM
14. You're already late on the assignment you just received.
15. Dilbert is your favorite cartoon.
16. Your boss's favorite lines are...."When you get a few minutes""In your spare time""I have an opportunity for you"
17. Less than 10% of the people in your company know what you do.
18. Vacation is something you roll-over to next year or a check you get every January.
19. Change is the norm.
20. You read this entire list and understand it.

And I'd like to add:
20. Approximately 90% of your phone conversations involve the words "vomit, diarrhea, pay me, and/or lawyer."
21. Everywhere you go, all you see is potential safety hazards.
22. People send you partially chewed or digested items found in their 99cent sandwiches on a daily basis.

Deer Camp

4 days. It begins.

The anticipation is building.

Friday is the opening day of shotgun deer season in Illinois. For seven days of the year, hunters in our state pour into the woods in hopes of bagging a big, corn-fed Whitetail. It is something I eagerly look forward to, not because I enjoy killing animals, but because of the relationships that surround the event and for the time spent away from the rest of the world. When you are hunting, you are miles away from reality. It's just you, the trees, the wind, the wildlife, and God. I love it.

Traditionally, the hunters in our party gather at "Deer Camp" the Thursday night before opening day for a feast. It is held in a 30x60' shop with a heated concrete floor, full kitchen, bathroom, and loft. It even has a hot tub to relax in after a long day in the cold. My dad and Bernie (the owner of the shop) invite a bunch of their customers and other hunters over to dine on a variety of wild game dishes. I usually have a showing of the previous years Wild Boar and Deer Hunting DVD's I film and produce.

Then it's off to bed (if sleep is possible). We roll out of bed around 4:30-5am every day, inhale breakfast, pile on layers of insulation, and head out to the stands before daylight.

I can already feel the crisp air in my lungs, see the forest come alive as daylight creeps through the branches, hear hooves gently plodding through fallen leaves, smell the gunpowder...

4 more days...

highlights-not in my hair.

Some highlights from the past few days of my exciting life:

A lady filed a claim for being stung by a bee (apparently we're supposed to be able to control them).

I fell down the last few stairs at my house. Shaggy carpet is slippery.

I learned that Cougar becomes a ravenous, growling beast if you give him a porkchop and then try to take it away to cut it into smaller pieces so he can actually swallow it. Apparently he thinks he's an anaconda.

I am now doing the work of two claims examiners, as we are 4 people short this week.

I ate breakfast sausage for supper. Delicious.

Blockbuster Total Access has drastically changed my life.

I paid a man $40 for ripping his pants on a bench.

I spend more time looking for a new job while at work than actually working at my job. And no one notices.

I have nearly cleaned out all the random food items from my cupboards and freezer since I've been broke since last friday. Necessity is the mother of all invention-and strange meal combinations (see previous sausage example).

I wore a bathrobe to work.

Actually, I did not wear a bathrobe to work. But it would be fun.

My Matrix.

There is a concept my mind has been chewing on. I have become aware that I am a part of several communities that I interact with on a daily basis, but which I am totally disconnected with. These “Matrix Communities,” as I call them, occur where people are gathered in close proximity, but not necessarily in social settings. Maybe it’s a coffee shop… a doctor’s waiting room…a bus for the morning commute. They are everywhere.

Think about it. How many distinct groups of people are you around every day? Groups of individuals that you recognize, yet know nothing about? Maybe you have already assumed personalities or life stories for these people. You may know everything about them-in your mind. But it’s all an illusion. This is the Matrix.

For example, I workout at a particular gym at a particular time of the day, several days a week. So do approximately 100-200 other people. These are the people in my Matrix. I don’t know them. But when members of my community are absent, I notice. When there are new people, I notice. There is a subconscious connection with these strangers. I enjoy being in their company. Why?

I think it has to do with another “Matrix” concept: ignorance is bliss. When we bounce from one community to the next, we only see the surface of each member’s life. We come to our own conclusions about what is underneath. And in my communities, everyone is happy-their lives are free from pain and worry. I have decided this for them. My Matrix is comforting and I can share in their illusion.

It’s easy to go through life this way-not caring to go deeper than the surface. Not marring the complexion of our Matrix communities by crossing over the line into the reality of each member’s life.

With reality comes pain, but through pain you find love. Break the Matrix.

More to come…

Sugarfeast.

I had a GREAT and bountiful Halloween! What I don't understand is why all the children who rang my doorbell went away upset (some even in tears).

Halloween is a holiday of generosity, correct? You are to give freely of what you have to bring joy to others and yourself. I thought I had this nailed down. Apparently, I was wrong.

Here's the scenario:

Doorbell rings.

I answer it as I normally would when a Girlscout, Amway Lady, or other salesperson visits.

However, on this night of the year, the visitors greated me with arms outstretched and bags or buckets overflowing with sweet delights. I was overcome with the spirit of the holiday and reacted in the only way that is natural:

I scooped handfulls of candy out of their stockpiles and into my bowl and shut the door.

Happy Halloween!

just kidding.