I have arrived.

The other day at the gym, I came to the realization that I am now a prominent member of Peoria society. Here's how I know:

A burly man with a long, sweaty, curly mullet and a cut-off flannel shirt asked me if I'd "watch his duffel" while he went to "take a whiz."

I've never been so honored.

Now if he'll only ask me to spot him on the squat rack...