After President Bush's visit to Caterpillar in Peoria yesterday, he stopped by a local diner, the Sterling Family Restaurant. Sources say he ordered a kitten platter, stating he "enjoy(s) eating them like corn on the cob and but doesn't butter them due to high cholesterol. They taste a lot like chicken." When the staff informed him that they did not serve pets but did have chicken on the menu, he said he'd prefer kitten because "the feathers make him itchy." The President then stomped out of the diner and ordered his motorcade to make a stop at the nearest pet store.

Don't become a victim...

I’d like to take this opportunity to bring to light a condition that our society would rather overlook than recognize as a real problem. Millions of Americans suffer from a plight known as Feline-Induced Sleep Deprivation, or FISD. I am a victim of this disorder.

People with FISD are often awoken several times throughout the night or much earlier than their intended hour of waking. This causes undue stress, crankiness (yes, that is a medical condition), and a feeling of angst against anything furry. The source of this disorder has been linked to the presence of felines that reside in the afflicted person’s home. Transmission is normally through direct contact (often violent) between said feline’s limbs (clawed or de-clawed digits), posterior appendage (tail), or keratin sensory organs (whiskers) and exposed portions of the victim’s thorax, neck, or face. Persons may also be affected indirectly through audible distress signals from the feline, indicating they require immediate maintenance (ex.: food, water, or retrieval of favorite toy from under the stove).

There is hope for those suffering from FISD, however. Previous treatment options included placing barriers between feline and victim during sleeping hours. However, the felines have gained the ability to increase audible distress signals to the level that will penetrate any solid material. The only treatment that is 100% effective against FISD is to provide felines with 2 lbs of food before retiring for the evening and sleeping in a full-body Kevlar suit, including aircraft carrier flight deck-rated ear muffs, and a bee keeper mask.

Do not let the felines control your life. Together, we can take a stand against FISD!

blessed.

Unfortunately, it's easy to forget how blessed I am sometimes. I tend to get caught up in all the "things" of this world and miss the bigger picture. I have a great family. I have great friends. A great church. A home. And most importantly, a God who loves me regardless of all my short-comings.

But there are moments where He pushes aside all the coincidences so I know it is His hand that is doing all the moving.

I had been praying for a new job.
I had been praying for roommates so I wouldn't have to move out to sell or rent my house.

Months had passed, slowly. Too slowly. How would I make it to the next paycheck?

And then, an interview. A job offer!
And then, a roommate, now two roommates.
And one is a "stranger" that goes to my church. She had been praying for a place to live and the cash to move in. Saturday she got called in to work on her night off and was given a $400 tip.

God blesses those who are faithful. Not that I deserve anything. I owe everything to Him. Again He has proven that while patience is my biggest struggle, it is necessary to sweeten the reward.

new record.

today I deadlifted 400 lbs. for the first time. it was on the last set of the last exercise for the day. booyah!

ha!

A man from Missouri just called me a "dirty, lousy, rotten-assed skunk" for not being able to pay his ice vs. car claim. I laughed.

TGIF.

48 hours.

Just in case you forgot, my last day of working at this glorious insurance company is a week from tomorrow.

Over 5 days, I've had the privilege of informing 13 people in Oklahoma and Missouri that I could not do anything to help them after sheets of ice several inches thick slid off the roofs of business we insure and crushed their cars.
If it were up to me, I'd pay everybody-but I'm not allowed because the law says we don't owe the claim. So I get yelled at, cursed at, etc.

This afternoon I actually stated (in a very loud voice) "Believe me, I HATE this job!" into the phone today while speaking with an outraged claimant. Just as I finished "job," I noticed my boss was walking past my cubicle, at which point he stopped, pivoted, and walked back the other direction. classic.

"Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?"

We had a stress management seminar today at work (something I could have used 9 months ago, thank you). When I walked into the boardroom, I thought, "holy crap, Will Ferrell is teaching the class!" Seriously, the dude looked JUST like him, maybe 10 years from now.
So he's going through his spiel and is very funny and animated, like a typical motivational speaker. The whole time I'm thinking about the many characters he has played.

Then towards the end he says at Christmas time at his old job he would wear his elf hat.


I just about lost it.
And then he said people always tell him he looks like Will Ferrell and the rest of the class caught on. Made my day.

I have arrived.

The other day at the gym, I came to the realization that I am now a prominent member of Peoria society. Here's how I know:

A burly man with a long, sweaty, curly mullet and a cut-off flannel shirt asked me if I'd "watch his duffel" while he went to "take a whiz."

I've never been so honored.

Now if he'll only ask me to spot him on the squat rack...

Eye Opener

I watched a very disturbing film over the last two nights, called "Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price."

Now, I have been a Wal-Mart shopper for years, as there are 2 "super centers" conveniently located within a few miles of my home. I can do all my shopping for the week in one stop, and for relatively low prices. However, I never stopped to ponder why or how the same item at Wal-Mart could be more than a dollar cheaper than at Kroger or other chain stores.

I knew that the corporation had a traumatic affect on small town economics, but hey, this is Peoria. I knew that a lot of the goods were imported, but who doesn't import these days? However, the fact that they will do anything to make a dollar, including trampling their own employees into poverty, forcing them to turn to federal aid just to buy groceries or get health care for their children while working 40 hours a week, is appalling. The U.S. government is paying over $1 Billion/year just for health care for Wal-Mart employees and their families.

The film interviews former managers, supervisors, and trainers that admit being forced to erase the overtime hours of their employees so Wal-Mart wouldn't have to pay extra. They install "anti-union" surveillance packages in the stores to prevent any such organization within the ranks. This doesn't even break the surface of all the inhumane labor conditions going on overseas.

Saving a few dollars of my paycheck is not worth the moral injustices occurring across the globe. However, if people don't shop there, will these same employees find better opportunities elsewhere? Should the government do anything? Thoughts?

Roomie?

I have a room available immediately for rent! $350/month includes all utilities, cable, high speed wireless internet. The house is 1640 sq feet, 3 bedrooms, 1.5 bath, two living rooms, dining room, breakfast area, kitchen, and finished basement. Washer and dryer on site. On street parking. Storage space available in basement and garage. Room is approximately 150 sq. feet, with newly refinished hardwood floor and two closets. I share the house with a former roommate from college. I'm looking for a student/professional, 22-30 years old, non-smoker. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me!

longest post ever-i can't help it.

I had the opportunity to bear witness to the power of God in amazing ways over the past 2 days.

Sunday at “Reality” was a little different than usual. The students were greeting in the parking lot by booming bass. The lights were dimmed and psychedelic animations danced on the projector screen. On the stage was a DJ-not the “normal” worship band. After mixing some songs for the crowd to dance to, he told us a story.

His name is Jeremy Lowrance, formerly known as “Jelo.” He came from a small town and an all-to-typical divorced family. As a child he was abused. As a high school student, he was rejected by the female species on all but one attempt at a relationship. However, he was the epitome of an ugly ducking and by the time he got to college, he traded his past for new friendships.

He met some “cool” people on campus and they welcomed him with open arms. Unfortunately, being “cool” meant dabbling in just about every drug you could name and before he knew it, he had an expensive habit. He started to go to raves where he fell in love with the music. Being an entrepreneur, he began buying more drugs than he needed and selling the excess so his supply would be free. He also started DJing. And he was GOOD at both professions. He started getting a name around town. He got a national following. He was doing shows in front of 30,000 people on a regular basis in Memphis, New York, Chicago, Canada, etc. But his drug habit followed him everywhere he went. He thought that if he moved to a new place, he could leave his addiction behind and start over. But bad company corrupts good character. All the while, God was trying to call out to him. He wouldn’t listen.

In Chicago he met a woman who had heard of his reputation (not as a musician). In short, he started working with the mafia and was raking in tens of thousands of dollars for 45 minutes of work each week. His life was about to change.

On returning home from a show, he was pulled over. It was the DEA. Jeremy was arrested for international drug trafficking with a sentence of 40 years to life in federal prison. But by a loophole in the legal system, his attorney got the sentence reduced to 4 years in Leavenworth. At 23 years old, he went from an underground national celebrity to a number in the judicial system.

It was in the darkness of a prison cell that he was broken. It was here that he finally succumbed to HIM. He was befriended by a HUGE fellow prisoner who was a Christian. Jeremy was reluctant to even make eye contact with the man initially, as he feared the worst. However, he began attending the prison church services, then a bible study. Before he knew it, he was leading the church service. God worked in amazing ways in Leavenworth. He witnessed another believer pray with diligence over the injured ankle of a Muslim prisoner on the handball court and he was instantly healed. That Muslim turned to Christ in front of a crowd of his brothers. Other conversions quickly followed.

Jeremy has been out of prison for almost 2 years now. He is still a DJ, but now only plays music that honors God. He is married, with a child on the way. His story is powerful. An amazing witness!

The other is of Darin, the friend who was shot a few days before Christmas last year. He has lost his leg, but not his spirit! He came down to Peoria last night with his mom to visit. It was great to see him and to see that he has not lost his sense of humor or enthusiasm. I can’t imagine all he has been through, and yet he is strong.

Sorry this post was sooo long!

8 more days.
8 more days of a depressing profession.
8 more days of putting good people in financial bind because I’m told I have to.
8 more days of abuse from not-so-good people attempting to beat the system.
8 more days of debating whether or not to get out of bed to go to work.
8 more days of sitting in a corporate box.

8 more days until a new beginning.

Only 8 more days!

Now Cougar is sending postcards to postsecret. It's so amazing, I'm not even mad.

Who is God?

We had a riveting and heated discussion last night at our "house group" about the different perceptions of God. How do you view who God is and why?

Two different camps of thought formed in the room, one with a single member. Camp 1 believes that they know God from their personal experience with him through relationships with other Christians and the Holy Spirit working in the world today. Camp 2 believes that the one and true way to learn who God is is to read the Bible, because those words are "God-breathed."

While Camp 1 acknowledged that the Bible is a crucial part of faith and developing their view of God, it is not the most important aspect of Christian life. It's probably not often the case that a non-believer just decides to pick up the book, read, and become a believer without some other prompting. It is the personal relationships and the outpouring of love from those who already know God that introduce Him to non-believers.

If God is only contained on the pages of the Bible, does he not still exist in this world? Is he not everywhere and in everything you see? It only furthers the point that our perception of God is based on our religious and cultural background. We can't even broken the surface on the varied interpretations of the Word. Great discussion though!

Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

i read this in an email this morning. how true.

Ephesians 4: 11. It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12. to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13. until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

14. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Romans 12: 1. Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

let it be done.

Squirrel law suite.

Leslie, you should have sued Bradley when the squirrel jumped into your bookbag!

http://www.stellaawards.com/previousissue.html


It amazes me that this lady thinks an outdoor mall has a duty to warn people of the presence of squirrels.

I had a similar claim, where a woman filed a claim because she was stung by a bee. What am I supposed to do about it?

Two weeks, two days and it's so-long to the world of liability claims!

P.S. Does anyone know how to post active links? I can't get it to work.

Git 'er done.

Say hello to Tazewell County's newest Environmental Health Inspector!
Thank you all for your prayers! I got the job offer this morning. I start in 2 weeks. It was hard to tell my boss I was leaving because he's been awesome, but it's time to move on. I can't wait!

Let a sleeping Cougar lie.

This was taken just as Lassie startled Cougar from his afternoon nap to inform him that she had just seen a squirrel outside the window.



For the insult, Cougar gave her the beating of the century, tied her hind legs together with her own tail, and ate all of her food. Unlike dogs, cats DO hold grudges. forever.

Cougar, M.D.

cloudy. son is peeking.

interview went VERY well yesterday. i should hear something soon if they want me. start date would be january 29th, which is less than 2 weeks from now.

the job sounds like it would be awesome. a much needed change. out of the office 90% of the time. casual dress code. septic tank probing. i'm trying to keep from being TOO optimistic because it's making the seconds drag by here at work. oh well...tick, tock.

other things in life are more confusing and convoluted than ever. oh well. patience. clarity. peace.

Last night at small group, Alyssa informed us that the stoplight was invented before the automobile. The girls began discussing how this could be. I suggested maybe for horse traffic. Leslie then replied, "But aren't horses color blind?"


If I have to explain why this is funny, please call me.
I will come to your house and hit you on the head with a hammer.

"my wish"

I know it's cheesy to post song lyrics, but this Rascal Flatts song resonates so deeply in me that i can't help it.

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

They have the internet on computers now!

Northwoods has FINALLY put their messages onine:
http://www.nwoods.org/storyPageWithChartHTML.asp?pageID=88

Check them out!

Now I never have to miss a message

See this movie!

I watched "The Illusionist" last night. Two thumbs and a toe, way up. It is a charming tale of a peasant magician (Edward Norton)in 19th century Vienna who falls in love with a young dutchess (Jessica Biel), but the social castes tear them apart as children. They are reunited on stage one night, as the dutchess is volunteered for by her fiance, the crown prince. A curious police chief (Paul Giamatti)is first intrigued by the magician's incredible illusions, but when an unthinkable crime occurs, intrigue gives way to inquiry and the illusionist is found suspect. His illusions take on a whole new form, and capture the entire city's awe. Until finally, justice is served and the truth is found out.
The acting is top-notch, the story is captivating. If you only see 1 movie this week, see "The Illusionist"!

Pet Rules

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.

And finally,



11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

jobs (not steve)

Those that know me or peruse my thought on this blog know that I've been struggling lately with what I do for 40 hours of the week. My job is less than glamorous, but that's ok. I just miss interacting with people. And with the animals. I'm just not sure what my true calling is.
I started applying for new jobs again last tuesday. I found two here in Peoria that called for a degree in Environmental Science as a requirement. My undergrad degree is E.S., but this is the first time I've actually applied for an E.S. job. I got a call a few minutes ago to set up an interview for an Environmental Health Inspector position at the Tazewell County Health Dept. Of all the jobs I've applied for in the past year, this one has the most promise. The starting pay isn't all that much more than I'm making now, but I'm probably also going to be working part-time at Wildlife Prairie Park again. I just miss being there!
Thank you to all who have been praying diligently!

The office.

Favorite line (since Charlie hasn't blogged about last night's episode and I can't wait any longer):

While the party planning committee is planning the luau Michael demanded on the afternoon of his return from Sandals, Jamaica...

Phyllis: I've called every grocery store in town and none of them sell whole pigs.

Angela: Did you try the petting zoo?

Resolutions

Today is January 2. AKA the first day the gym will be open following New Year’s Day. AKA the single busiest gym day of the year. AKA the day that resolutionists (I invented that word) sign a one-year contract for gym membership, of which they will only use approximately 1-2 months.

It is in that spirit that I have decided to make not only 1, but several resolutions of my own. However, since I am making many, I feel it’s only good and proper that I don’t set the bar too high on any ONE goal. Therefore:

I resolve to eat less iguana in 2007.

To listen to fewer John Denver records this year than I did last year (-1).

To dine at more restaurants dressed as a panda.

To help fund a Dalmatian plantation where all the Dalmatians can roam.

To sneeze with my eyes open.

To climb to the top of the corporate ladder at work (luckily our building is only one story).

To get Cougar’s cat modeling career off the ground.

To plant a flower for every negative thought I think. Hopefully my yard doesn’t look like the poppy field from the Wizard of Oz.

To sing more.

To dance less.

To star in a Muppet movie (as a Muppet).

And finally…to retain more sanity than those I work with.

'07

Happy New Year to all! I hope it's filled with love, life, growth, and prosperity!