whirlwind

overwhelming joy. a spirit at ease.
that's as close as I can get to describing what i've felt over the past 2 weeks. spending time with Gina is like being reunited with a best friend I'd never met.

i know you're probably sick of hearing about her. but that's too bad. you're going to hear more (or you can read someone else's blog, i guess).

it's kind of like i'm living in a cheesy country song. everything is perfect just being in her company. the sun is always shining from her eyes. the mood instantly lightens when she walks in a room. i get giddy when the phone rings and it's her. see what i mean?!

it's not infatuation. it's not lust. it's more.

and for those of you making bets-quit it. you're going to jinx us! but it's cute.

Gina-i'll see you in 11 hours!!

timely "Sleeping at Last" song...

Tension & Thrill

The headlines talk
Of sadness and new risk.
Life is deadly,
My finger’s to your lips.
We’ll send the world in reverse.

Love is tension and thrill
That begs to be ours.

We are diamonds waiting to be found,
Catching light in the corners of our eyes.
We are diamonds waiting to be found.

We are the hunted,
We are the shining northern lights.
We are the nervous,
We feel our hands becoming vines.
We’ll dream in color tonight.

Love is tension and thrill
That begs to be ours.
There are cities inside of everyone:
Life within life,
The trembling in our voice.

When I look into your eyes
I see the tip of an iceberg.
When I look into your eyes
I see that love is an iceberg
That throws us into the sea.

We’re walking on the ocean floor,
Feeding sharks out of our hands.

We are diamonds waiting to be found,
Catching light in the corners of our eyes.
We are diamonds waiting to be found.


We have been found!

something new, something real.

What a difference a week makes. It's safe to say the news is out. I have met someone.
But Gina is different. For some reason, I've always seemed to attract girls with baggage. LOTS of baggage. And girls who were one person in public, and a completely different person in private. weird. always lacking authenticity and genuine character.
Gina is different. She is someone I can openly share my faith with. She understands what makes me tick-and why I spend so much time at church with crazy high schoolers (who I love)!
she's real. she's a beautiful person-inside and out! It is utterly uncanny how much we have in common.
actually, it's a bit frightening.
even the things we've always hoped life and relationships would one day be like are aligned in a way that is undeniably profound.
I can be 138.4% open with her about anything and everything. We talk for hours-sacrificing sleep and early morning sanity to learn about each other.
i've turned into a complete sap.
and i don't care.
Gina is different. Gina is amazing.

i promise this is not turning into a poetry blog.
weird.
it's just the way things have been pouring out lately.
unexpected surprises, both good and bad, but MUCH more good!
someone who understands-finally!
words can't encapsulate these feelings.
wisdom beyond experience.
adoration.
jubilation.

an affirmation with her every word.
g.

when life is at its best and past obstacles have faded in the dust of your footprints, the enemy siezes an opportunity to plunge a dagger of lies into the soft under-belly of assurance.

to the unbeliever it may be a fatal blow.

But the betrayal of trust, the deciet, the cruel and heartless act of defying a mercy and grace-filled commitment...

is washed away by the comfort and healing words of wisdom, love, and encouragment of true and loving brothers and sisters.

The enemy has no power within the camp of the believers. He is defeated by the most powerful and priceless weapon of love.

thank you b, d, c, l, and g for your words and your prayers! i love you all!

friday. 2:31pm.

anticipation.

for tonight.
a battle. of bands.
Reality students. and other students lost in reality.
anticipating their connection.

for tommorrow.
friends. and a festival.
A new friend. and a new found hope.
anticipating the moment when surface friendships
transform
into authentic relationships.
amen.

AMAZing weekEND

Whew, I needed that!
It was one of those relaxing weekends, not for laziness, but for getting things accomplished and the satisfaction that comes from checking things off the to-do list. And for friends. Great friends, new and old. Nexus was thought-provoking and fun, as usual. I met some awesome new people and am eagerly anticipating building new relationships. The clouds of the past several weeks have definitely lifted and HIS hands are at work! I love it!

bueno.

Fridays are my favorite. There's just something in the anticipation that they bring that makes the whole day pass faster than any other work day. I'll be spending some kwality time with my boys-Tom and Kyle tonight and should be getting my precious Grand Am back after a week in the shop. Tomorrow is NEXUS! I may even get to mow my yard (meadow) for the first time EVER-or change my oil-or clean out the gutters-or something. The possibilities. Either way, it's all goooooooood.

There is a certain beauty in storms.


It begins with a single drop of rain.
Then a chorus of bursting tears on the pavement.
The wind rushes in like a stampeding herd.
A bolt of lightning illuminates all the night keeps hidden for an instant-
The empty space between flash and thunder steals your breath-
Then air shatters...life shatters.


But in the aftermath…in the still quietness after the thunder fades and clouds part…a glimmer of hope and light on the horizon…
there is peace.
There is new life.

awakening

time. once spent, it cannot be reclaimed. to someone with moments left to live, each millisecond is priceless. to one serving a life sentence, days pass like months.
why is it that there are split moments in time that remain vivid and ageless in our minds, while the rest pass without a second thought? why are there things we can't remember and others we can't foget, regardless of how hard we try?

an instant change the course of history.
the hammer piercing the roar of the crowd as it drove the nails into His flesh...
the thunder of the stone being rolled away...
the revelation that He had returned...

more personally, there are moments that change our lives. each and every decision steers us. often blindly we make choices that could enhance our life or end it-"do I take the shortcut home?", "do i eat my steak rare tonight?"
How do we spend the time we've been given and who do we spend it with? relationships. if a relationship fails, how do we cope with the time lost in it? is it really lost???

i yearn for the day when time no longer matters. where there is always time for dessert. where the band keeps playing one more song. where neighbors have time to share a beer on the tailgate after mowing the lawn. where jobs, phones, tv, and taxes take a backseat to meaningful conversation and deepened relationships.

help me to make the right decision this TIME.

TGIH.

4.5 hours until the end of the work week! I can't wait for some much-needed time off (a dog the size of a small horse bit me on the arm yesterday, but I was wearing a coat so it didn't break the skin). I am really enjoying the new job, but I just need a break from everything. It's time for friends, family, and food!

Tomorrow will be a day of reflection, rest, and remembrance. I always cherish the Good Friday service at Northwoods. It is somber and moving. It is a great reminder of the price that has been paid. Maybe I'll watch "The Passion" again.




I'm also looking forward to watching my roommate sheer her cat, Jack. His long black hair has coated everything in my house. Cougar keeps coughing up black hair balls. sick.

searching....?

As of today, I am officially turned loose for food inspections. Woohoo! Only 6 weeks of training.
The last two weeks of life have been more than busy. Hectic. Even more over-whelming than usual. I go to sleep exhausted and wake up tired. I go to the gym and have no energy. I've just been in an all-together bad mood.
I think part of it is stress and strain from the 17.3 directions life is pulling me. The other is that I don't ever see Bri anymore. She works more hours than a clinical physician, and then when she's off, she sleeps for 2 days. Or goes to Chicago to fill-in at another store. So, we've spent an accumulated 4-6 hours together over the past 2 weeks.

i need clarity. or answers. or clear answers.

and rest.